If Only She Were Mine
by Macca Fan
Summary: Modern Day Setting: Patsy is in love with her best friend, Delia but she has danced around the issue of telling her. Until it's too late. Delia finds herself somebody else. Has this new woman really won Delia's heart? Enjoy.
1. Dancing around the issue

If Only She Were Mine.

Patsy liked her life. Almost every aspect of it was in order except for one small detail; her love life.  
She absently ran a vacuum cleaner over the red-patterned carpet of the flat she shared with her two best friends and co-workers. She always resorted to cleaning when she had something playing on her mind, particularly if it was to do with her feelings.

The red-head bit her lip, lost inside her own thoughts. She was not entirely sure when it actually happened. No, that was a blantant lie. The nurse knew the exact date and the precise time when she first caught sight of her heart's desire. One Miss Delia Busby. She often found herself recalling their first meeting in training school.

They had hit it off immediately. Their conversations flowed and they got along with such ease. To Patsy it felt like they had known each other a life time. She soon became a part of her life. She mingled seamlessly with her best friend, Trixie. The trio all seemed to click so well in fact they decided to share lodgings, much to Patsy's delight.

They were firm friends, but if Patsy was being completely honest with herself she wanted Delia to be more than just her best friend. She had Trixie for that, ever since boarding school. As the months went on, Patsy found she could not voice her secret longings.

One thing the red-head struggled with was romance. She was out, of sorts, to only Trixie but that was not through any act of bravery.

One night in their shared dorm at boarding school, Trixie had smuggled in a few bottles of wine. Drinking a little too much one night, Patsy's tongue was loose enough to accidently let slip a comment about the french teacher, whom she had a slight crush on. Trixie had an initial moment of surprise, but the blonde always had her suspicions. Patsy was such a private person, so Trixie did not want to push her into revealing something she was not ready for. This careless admission of sorts was a perfect way to ask her all about it. The next morning, Patsy told her oldest and closest friend that she was indeed gay. The red-head did not turn her confession into some grand fanfare. There were no tears shed or broken-hearted sobs. She simply told her, almost matter of factly. She never did feel comfortable enough sharing truly personal things about herself.

Then she met Delia. The girl found herself willingly opening up, sharing all manner of things about herself, including the death of her mother and sister. It was always something the red-head had always struggled to deal with. They would chat for hours, regarding just about anything, except how her feelings did not run just to friendship. Even when the brunette talked openly about her own sexuality, the red-head could not voice her own preferences. She had danced around the issue until it was too late. Trixie had warned her and told her several times; _'Delia is quite the catch. You better_ _grab her before somebody else does.'_ Patsy just could not tell Delia that she was gay. She assumed she knew, but just never mentioned or confirmed it to her.

Then the worst happened. Delia told them over breakfast she had a date. Her heart sank.

Delia had been out the night before to a new gay club that had just been opened, called the Gateways. Trixie had hinted that Patsy should offer to take Delia there but Patsy's nerve just could not do it. Now _her_ Delia was going on a date with some awful woman.

Patsy hoped the date would go terribly and felt horrible for thinking such things. She wished that the girl would be rude, a bore or perhaps not as attractive in the daylight, away from the dimness of the club. But when this girl came to pick Delia up for their date, both Patsy and Trixie darted for the window to get a good look at her. There she was, walking off down the road with the Welsh beauty. She was just a little taller than Delia and wore black trousers paired with a flowery shirt. She had light brown hair falling loosely around her shoulders. She was not as slender as Patsy had imagined her to be, but was slim all the same. This girl was not terrible looking at all. In fact she could even be called pretty.

''Oh, why does she have to be pretty?'' Patsy sighed dejectedly as she felt Trixie give a soft rub to her back.

''Pretty? Sweetie she is gorgeous, but she has nothing on you.''

Patsy appreciated the way that the blonde always knew just what to say, but it was no use. She could not be consoled, not that night. Patsy had waited too long to make her move and she knew it. Slinking off toward the bathroom, she spent the rest of her evening scrubbing the bathroom, to every inch of its life.

Patsy let out a deep sigh as she clicked off the upright vacuum cleaner. She was exhausted and hardly had a wink of sleep last night. All her thoughts were all of Delia. Even her dreams. The red-head was torturing herself, imagining the Welsh beauty laughing with this seeming mystery stranger. Glancing to her wrist watch, it was still early but she desperately wanted to speak with Delia. She needed to know how the date had gone. Hoping the sound of the hoover was just loud enough to wake her, Patsy glanced at her watch for the second time. Wheeling the bulky machine back to the cupboard in the kitchen. She looked up at the sight of Delia heading over to the kettle with a yawn.

"Morning Pats."

 **A/N - This is my first story about Pats & Deels that is set in the modern day. This caused me to struggle, somewhat with the flow of it all. This is going to be a rather long fic; I must say a very big thank you to, Steff. For helping me proof read this. Please enjoy... x **


	2. You needed a new mirror?

If Only She Were Mine.

"Morning Pats."

As she spun around to face her, some of the troubles that had been weighing on the red-head's mind seem to disappear and she found herself smiling at the Welsh beauty. Delia was wearing an over sized T-shirt, with a cute looking pug dog across the front of it. She often wore this as her night attire. Patsy thought Delia looked the most alluring first thing in the morning; even with her bed hair. It always took her breath away.

"Sorry Deels. Did I wake you?" She asked innocently, relieved to see her awake and out of bed.

The brunette set up two miss matched coffee mugs. "It's fine." Delia smiled, "Want a cuppa?" She offered, already beginning to make her one.

"Yes please." Patsy stood there, anixously waiting for the slightest detail of how her night went. She did not seem angry or upset, which was good she supposed, but not for her heart.

Realising that she couldn't wait any longer for an answer, Patsy decided to be bold and make the first the move. "So?" She paused, "How was last night...with. Oh? What was her name?" Patsy tried to sound casual, hoping her cheeks had not turned a shade of red. The reaction wasn't due to embarrassment. On the contrary, her colour had risen through her anger. The ill-feeling that was churning away inside of her was mainly self-loathing. Feeling like a coward was not an emotion she could shake off so easily.

"Ellen," Delia replied with a single nod, focusing her attention on dunking the tea bags up and down in the mugs. "Yeah. It was alright." She continued making the hot drinks.

Patsy let the words flow through her mind. _'Alright'_ seemed neither good nor bad. Needing more information, she was about to open her mouth to speak, but Delia had beaten her to it. "Do we have any Rich Teas left, Pats? Or have we eaten them all?"

Opening up the cupboard, Patsy reached for the biscuits upon the top shelf. She handed them to her, "Here you are." At the contact of Delia's fingertips brushing over the back of her hand, Patsy's heart skipped a beat.

"Thanks." Delia yawned, for a second time.

"Where did you go?" She asked, trying to busy herself by taking the carton of milk out of the fridge.

"Just for a coffee, but we got a little hungry and went for a Big Mac."

"A Big Mac?" Patsy heard the sarcasm in her own voice, and by the way Delia had narrowed her eyes, she had too.

Patsy had given a great deal of thought about where she would take her beloved Delia on their first date, if she were ever given the opportunity. A burger place was certainly not one of them. She envisioned candle light, red wine and a delicious looking dessert menu. Patsy knew just how much Delia loved her puddings. Trying not too raise her hopes to high, Patsy hoped romance had not blossomed over the fast food.

"Yes."

By the sound of the brunette's tone, she knew she had somehow managed to put her foot in it.

"It was rather cute actually." She smiled, "I noticed that the toy this week was a pink pocket mirror. So she asked the guy behind the counter if I could have one. Without the meal." Delia brought the mug of hot tea to her lips for a sip.

The red-head felt her mood deflate quicker than a balloon. She could just picture the scene inside her head. _That_ Ellen girl, leaning with her hand provocatively upon her hip to the cashier. Looking as proud as punch, handing the plastic mirror over to sweet, adorable Delia.

"You needed a new mirror?" Was all Patsy could reply, feeling somewhat foolish at her reaction to Delia's romantic tale.

"No. I didn't, but I thought it looked cute."

Patsy watched the brunette smile down into her tea, as if she were recalling a seeming joke. The bottom had truly fallen out of the red-head's world, and to top it all off, there was that word again, _'cute'_. She had used it twice in the space of five mintues. Delia thought Ellen was cute. That one simple notion made Patsy's stomach twist into an unpleasant knot.

"Shall I cook us some scambled eggs for breakfast, Pats?" Delia offered, and just like that all talk of Ellen was over.

Patsy spent the rest of her morning pretending to watch the TV along side Delia upon the sofa. She couldn't shake the feeling that all this was so unjust. She was so certain that Delia was destined to be hers. Only last month, the two girls had spent the whole weekend in a fit of giggles.

Delia had suddenly decided she wanted to learn to play the guitar. It was Patsy who faithfully and rather enjoyably went along with her to the music shop to pick out the electric guitar of her choice. They spent two hours perusing the rack of hanging instruments, until a cream coloured Fender had finally caught her eye. Patsy was proud to carry the rather heavy amplifier throughout the town, and sit with it lovingly on her lap during the bus ride home. It was all done to secretly show her how much she cared.

Patsy encouraged her with praise, as they both sat in Delia's room upon her bed. With the laptop open at a guitar tutorial video, Delia attempted to strum along. Fifty whole glorious minutes of studying Delia's perfect features, as she concentrated on trying to learn the chords to the rather apt Everly brothers number, 'When will I be loved'. It might have sounded twangy and off-key but it was literally music to Patsy's ears.

The red-head had become accustomed to spending all of her free time with Delia, when they were not working on the wards. With this new presence, it could all change. Folding her arms across her chest, Patsy's mood was becoming bleak.

"You're quiet today, Pats?" Delia's voice cut through her thoughts.

"No." She shrugged, casting a sly glance beside her, towards her crush.

"Do you want to do something?" Delia stretched, wiggling her toes in her novelty cat socks.

"What do you have in mind?" The red-head could not hide her sudden smile at the notion of having Delia's company all day to herself.

"Shall we go to the record shop again? They might have some new vinyl in?" Delia playfully knocked her feet into the red-head's.

"And maybe a latte afterwards?" She grinned.

One hour later, the two women stood inside the pokey little record shop, searching through endless piles of 45" vinyl records.

Appreciating the charm of the crackling black circular disc had solely come courtesy of Delia. Patsy heard nothing but sarcasm and light teasing from Trixie, who had mocked; _'You've never even so much as held a vinyl record in your life Patsy.'_

Aside from giving the blonde something to laugh about, the red-head was completely hooked. She enjoyed the thrill of hunting for hours on end, trying to add a new song to their ever growing collection.

Delia had been right when she had told her; _'Pressing play on an iPod is all very well, but you can't beat the sound of a spinning stylus.'_

Finding nothing particularly rare upon their rummage this time, the girl's paid for their 50p singles and headed to the green laden coffee house.

"I still can't believe you've never heard of the song, 'Eso Beso', Pats?" Delia warmly smiled, holding her coffee cup closely to her for warmth.

"Well, I'm glad that I have you around to play it for me." The red-head uttered coyly.

Casting a shy glance from under her fringe, the brunette smiled, locking eyes with the red-head. "After these, we can go home and give our new records a listen."

Patsy hoped she was not blushing at Delia's _'our records'_ comment. The red-head liked how that sounded. Shaking her head and trying to remove the smitten grin from her face, Patsy suggested they go for a bite to eat, "Shall we grab a bag of chips, along the way?" Patsy watched, as Delia drank another sip of her drink. "With a large pot of mushy peas?" She added with a giggle of recognition from the Welsh nurse.

Suddenly a voice sounded, "Delia?" Full of surprise and excitement, breaking apart the conversation.

Noticing Delia's shoulders stiffen, Patsy curiously began to turn her head to view the intruder upon their afternoon when she stopped at the sound of a familiar name being spoken.

"Ellen?"

 **A/N - The next chapter will be Ellen's debut. *Bites Nails* I'm a little curious as to what you'll make of her? As again this chapter proved a bit of a struggle to write.**

 **I just wanted to ask you lovely readers about one thing; The line in this chapter -** **'The** _ **bottom had truly fallen out of the red-head's world.'**_ **Was originally written as** ** _'The bottom had truly fallen out of the red-head's well.'_** **But it was very kindly pointed out to me that this phrase/saying was unfamiliar. So I was just wondering if anyone else has heard it said this way? Thank you!**

 **A very** ** _BIG_** **thank you to Steff, for all of her invaluable proof reading and very helpful suggestions. More soon. x**


	3. A shampoo commercial

If Only She Were Mine.

"Ellen? Hi. What are you doing here?" Delia asked, a look of surprise clearly written on her face.

The fellow brunette quickly sat down in the empty seat between the already seated friends. "Grabbing a coffee in my lunch hour." Ellen shrugged, "Small world huh?" The sound of flirtation was clear in her tone of voice, and caused the red-head to roll her eyes.

"Yes. Urm... where are my manners? Ellen, this is Patsy. Patsy, this is Ellen." Delia made the introductions, shifting in her seat rather uncomfortably.

"Oh, hi," Ellen muttered, turning herself at an angle so her back was now facing the red-head.

"Hi." Patsy raised her hand half heartedly. She found herself struggling with just the thought of this Ellen girl. Now here she was right in front of her, sandwiched between herself and Delia. It had not escaped Patsy's notice that the girl had rather rudely sat herself down without even being asked. Why today of all days, did she happen to be buying herself a coffee? At the same exact time they happened to be there too. Patsy sighed, and made no effort to disguise it.

"I didn't think I'd be seeing you again so soon." Ellen placed her take away cup of coffee down upon the table, "No lie, but I was just about to message you."

"Really, now?"

The sound of Delia's sarcastic but playful tone cut straight through Patsy's heart, as she sat there awkwardly.

"Looks like you've saved me the trouble. I can arrange our next date in person." Ellen tossed her hair over her shoulder.

Patsy sank further into her chair as her mind began to wander. What was it about this Ellen woman that had attracted _her_ Delia? She glanced down at her own choice of outfit today; her favourite checkered shirt and dark blue jeans. The red-head bit her lip, comparing herself to the woman seated to the left of her. Ellen seemed to be exuding confidence without even trying too. The stupid woman with her perfect hair might as well be filming a shampoo commercial, Patsy mocked to herself as Ellen's hair began to swoosh around her shoulders as she laughed whimsically along with Delia . The red-head knew the friendly thing would have been to feign she had somewhere else to be, but Patsy had no intention of leaving them alone.

"Me and Pats here have been looking for old records." Delia nodded to her red-headed friend.

"Why didn't you just go online to buy them?" Ellen shrugged, glancing to her watch. "Shit. Better be heading back. Call me later. Bye." Getting to her feet abruptly, giving a kiss to Delia's cheek before making a hurried dash towards the exit. Leaving a bewildered Delia behind.

Patsy always had the habit of over thinking things, but she could not help but feel the air had suddenly become strangely tense. There were no giggles. There were none of the usual seeking out of opinions of what she thought about Delia's date, as one would expect friends to do. Instead they sat and continued to drink the remaining latte in the bottom of their cups, for a few moments in silence until Delia picked up the conversation that had trailed off.

On the walk to the chip shop, Patsy replayed Ellen's words around in her head. Petty as she felt, it did not stop her dissecting each and every one, right down to the exact phrasing of it. She was angered by the throw away comment Ellen had made. Questioning Delia's reasons for actually shopping instead of simply going online. Ellen clearly did not know Delia yet and Patsy hoped it would remain this way. The red-head began to imagine their next date falling flat. Surely their differences would become apparent and their conversation would turn awkward. Her smile became wider as she looked over the menu board in the fish and chip shop.

As they sat with the chip papers upon their laps, watching yesterday's recording of Delia's favourite quiz show, the topic of Ellen remained unmentioned.

"Coward!" Delia ranted to the TV screen. "Taking the lower offer!" She dismissed the contestant, scooping out a good helping of mushy peas.

"Now, now Deels. You quite heard him say. He wants to deny his wife a new kitchen and spend the money on a motor bike." Patsy chuckled with sarcasm.

"Do you think he really would?" Delia asked hopefully.

"Yes, I believe he would." Patsy adored the way Delia always tried to see the best in people.

Once the credits rolled, Delia collected the chip wrappings, offering to make them both a cup of tea to wash it all down with. Patsy smiled as she snuggled down more into the sofa. She scrolled through the TV menu awaiting the brunette's return. Finding nothing that captured her interest she began flicking through the many programs on offer. With a sigh, she wondered what was taking Delia so long in the kitchen.

Switching off the TV, she heard the sound of plates and cutlery and got up to investigate. She stood in the door way for a moment watching with a silly grin plastered across her face, Delia seemingly hard at work.

"You can't possibly still be hungry?" Patsy playfully jibed, noting the salad ingredients in the purple colander.

"Sorry. I'll make our teas in a second," The brunette continued to prepare the leafy food. "I'm just making a salad..."

The red-head cut her off by stepping closer. "I can see that, but why?" She asked with a jolly tone.

"For Trixie. She'll be home soon," the thoughtful nurse explained. "She certainly won't feel like making it herself after a twelve hour shift."

As she stared at her, Patsy's heart swelled with pride. Delia always went above and beyond for people. If she could have leaned down and captured her lips with a kiss she would have done. Shaking her head and pulling herself from her daydreams, she forced a smile. "There is nothing on TV to watch, I'm afraid."

"Perfect. We can listen to our new vinyl singles instead."

Hoping she was not blushing at the use of the word, _'our'_ again, Patsy busied herself with making the tea.

 **A/N - Thank you to everyone who is reading this. The story will start building up more momentum very soon.  
**

 **So Patsy has finally met Ellen. In the next chapter, dear sweet Patsy is going to get a little mad. :D**

 **A very extra** ** _BIG_** **thank you to Steff, for helping me out with all of the editing. _Thank you!_ More soon. x**


	4. What was she wearing?

If Only She Were Mine.

Patsy was rushed off her feet all morning and was grateful when the time arrived for a break and a sit down. She resisted the urge to light up a cigarette. Before meeting Delia, she had smoked like a chimney. The diminutive nurse had somehow persuaded her to quit. It was something she would only have done because of the Welsh nurse. She took a sip of her coffee before opening the lid on her lunch box. The red-head noticed a new object had been placed in there. Picking up the chocolate bar with a note attached to it, the nurse smiled.

 _'You're doing so well, Pats. Don't quit now!'_

The author behind the note did not need to be named. Recognizing the handwriting, Patsy exhaled a deep breath. Delia knew her all too well. A smoke during lunch time was a big weakness and when she found her willpower was at its lowest. Patsy tried not to read too much into the kind action, because after all Delia would do the same for Trixie.

One thought she couldn't easily shake was Delia's date this afternoon. The pair were heading to the cinema. She had overheard Delia telling Trixie that the evening's expense would be on her, as Ellen had paid for the burgers the last time. Patsy had to firmly bite her tongue when she heard Delia say this. Delia needed to be spoilt, not made to foot the bill. The red-head was eager to discuss her distaste for this Ellen woman with Trixie tonight. As Delia would be on nights, it gave her plenty of time to speak freely.

A hastily prepared dinner was eaten quickly, reminding both Patsy and Trixie just how lucky they were that Delia enjoyed cooking so much.

Over a glass of red, Trixie listened intently as Patsy obsessed about Delia's date.

"What was Delia wearing?" Patsy asked, chewing on her thumb nail.

"Her summer dress. The light blue one, paired with her slip ons."

"So she wasn't in heels? Thank goodness!" Patsy let out a sigh of relief.

Trixie frowned. "No. I asked her the very same question."

"Trix! You helped her to get ready?" Patsy was slightly hurt by the admission, even though she knew Trixie had every right to assist her friend.

"Sweetie, what could I do?" The blonde touched her arm lovingly. "I'm rather caught in the middle here. My loyalty is to both of you. If I could knock both of your heads together, don't you think I would?"

"I know." Patsy sighed, resting her head upon the blonde's shoulder. "Trix, what if this date is a success?"

"It's not too late, Patsy. You could still tell her how you feel," Trixie pleaded as Patsy sat bolt upright.

"Don't be ridiculous! How can I tell her? Especially now." She folded her arms, sulkily tapping her fingers against her arm.

"I've seen the way you are together," she implored. "I've seen the way she looks at yo..."

"Don't!" Patsy snapped. "Don't tell me what you think you may have seen!"

Rising to her feet, Patsy stomped into the kitchen. She decided to make a start on the washing up and hastily rolled up the sleeves of her green cardigan.

"Patsy?" Trixie was hot on the red-head's heels, determined not to allow her to stew. Studying her closely she wished Patsy could believe in herself.

Patsy sighed. "I didn't mean to take out my frustrations on you." She poured washing up liquid into the steaming bowl of hot water. "It's just... Just." She faltered, trying to order her thoughts.

"I know." Trixie gave a reassuring squeeze to her shoulders. Knowing her friend, she knew it would be best if she left her alone.

As she scrubbed the second plate, Patsy could no longer fight the feeling of overwhelming sadness. As she sniffed back tears, finally she broke down into quiet sobs. It was moments such as these where she missed her mother the most.

As the time approached 8pm, Patsy lay sprawled on her bed in an effort to avoid Delia. The brunette was now home and getting ready for the night shift at the hospital. Usually Patsy would be making her a cup of coffee, or sat perched upon her bed watching Delia tie her hair back. Tonight she was hiding. She did not want to see any trace of joy that Delia might display because of another woman. As she sighed, the sound of voices caught her attention. Darting up from her bed to eavesdrop, she could hear the sound of Delia's soft lilt echoing. Trixie was asking about Delia's day and more importantly her date. Stepping closer to the door, the red-head was taken aback when it began to open, knocking into her shoulder with a thud.

"Sorry Pats." Delia apologised. Clearly stunned to find her friend standing behind the door.

"I was...urm. Leaving. My room." Patsy lied red-faced, rubbing her arm self-consciously.

"Oh. Did I hurt you?" She frowned, pulling Patsy closer and checking her over for any potential bruising. "I didn't knock your head did I?"

"No. Just my shoulder," Patsy confessed, realising that any sane person would wonder why she would be exiting through a door side ways. Taking in a deep breath she hoped Delia would not catch on to her eavesdropping.

"Sorry." She told her again, softly giving her arm a rub. It sent shivers through the taller nurse.

"I haven't seen you all day. Now here I am literally bumping into you," Delia chuckled, kneading her shoulder more softly. "I wanted to see you before I head out for my shift." She smiled, making the red-head's heart beat faster.

"I... I didn't know you were home." Patsy lied. She knew her untruth was complete nonsense and by the arch of her eye brow, Delia did too.

"Well, sorry if I disturbed you. Night Pats." Delia glanced down to the ground before turning to leave.

"You haven't," Patsy quickly uttered. She couldn't stand the thought of Delia being mad with her. "Do you have time for a coffee before you have to leave?" She asked with hope.

"Yes," Delia nodded, smiling now as they left the room together.

Patsy and Delia sipped at their coffee as Trixie painted her nails, eagerly attempting to press the brunette for any information regarding her date. "So?" Trixie watched her friend closely.

"The film was alright, nothing to write home about," Delia shrugged, sipping her coffee.

"Sweetie, who cares about the movie? I want the gossip." Trixie enthusiastically nodded her head.

"We really didn't get much of a chance to talk, what with watching the film." Delia shrugged her shoulders again, casting a sly glance to the quiet red-head.

"Surely you must have chatted a little? What about when you queued for the tickets?" Trixie shook her head with mild annoyance.

"Of course and we even spoke when I paid for the popcorn. Which she likes salted by the way." Delia smirked sarcastically.

Patsy was aghast. "But you hate salted popcorn! Your favourite is sweet." She could not help but pout. Not only did Ellen make Delia buy the cinema theatre tickets as well as the snacks, but she made her eat popcorn she did not like. The red-head was seething with pent up anger.

"It didn't matter, Pats. It was my treat after all and besides, I brought myself some sweets," Delia smiled with a gentle nod.

"So I take it the pair of you did not lock lips?" Trixie knew there was no sensitive way in asking such questions, and she noticed Patsy quickly turn her head upwards from the slumped position it had been in since the conversation had turned to Ellen.

"No. We didn't kiss," she simply stated. Patsy made every effort to conceal her grin.

Tilting her head to the left, Delia smiled. "I did get a little cold waiting for the taxi. So Ellen kept me warm by snuggling me under her coat."

At her words the blonde and red-head exchanged a knowing glance of dissatisfaction.

"Are you going to see her again?" Trixie asked. A small part of her hoping she would answer _'no'_ for Patsy's sake.

"Yep. She wants to cook for me," Delia replied, placing her empty cup into the kitchen sink.

"How lovely." Trixie gave a bright smile that failed to reach her blue eyes.

"I thought so. Well, I better get to work. See you later girls," she told them, leaving them to it.

"Don't work too hard, Deels. I know what you're like." Patsy shouted to her as the brunette was putting on her coat.

"I won't. Goodnight Pats," she replied, closing the front door behind her.

"Goodnight Deels," Patsy sighed, returning to Trixie.

 **A/N - Thank you all for the lovely reviews. I did say we would see** ** _angry_** **Patsy in this chapter, but unfortunately this one ran a little long. The next one will have sweet Patsy in a bit of a rant.**

 **A very** ** _BIG_** **thank you to Steff, for her amazing editing skills. *Hands her a shiny medal*** ** _Thank you!_** **More soon. x**


	5. The skinflint

If Only She Were Mine.

Once Delia was on her way to work, the coast was clear for Patsy to express what she truly thought of the brunette's date. The tall nurse re-joined Trixie in the kitchen, and let out an exasperated sigh causing the blonde to look up from her beauty regimen.

"What a complete cheapskate!" Patsy scoffed, slamming a red polka dot mug down onto the draining board.

"I assume you are referring to Ellen?" Trixie grinned in amusement. In all the years she had known Patsy, she had never heard the red-head express a real dislike for somebody before. She was usually very diplomatic. Out of the two, Trixie was known to be the one with the scathing tongue, but tonight, it would appear their roles were reversed. The blonde continued to listen politely.

"Yes! That miser is planning to cook for her now? She's probably done that so she can avoid taking her out somewhere nice." Patsy paced in a tight circle on the kitchen tiles. "I bet she will buy the cheapest ingredients she can find."

"You don't know that for sure, sweetie and she may consider a home cooked meal romantic." Trixie attempted to be reasonable. She knew Patsy would not give Ellen a fair chance, and Delia must see something in her for agreeing to yet another date.

"What? A few tea light candles and some cheap wine? Very romantic indeed." Patsy mocked the very notion.

"Ellen could be a wonderful cook. Besides, sweetie, you of all people should know, Delia does not go in for meaningless expense. She does not house a shallow bone in her body." Trixie gave the lovesick nurse a sympathetic smile.

"No," Patsy shook her head meekly. "I still think _that_ woman is a skinflint though. Making Deels pay for popcorn she doesn't even like." She folded her arms. "And didn't you say that Delia also paid for the cab ride home?"

Trixie sighed. "Yes. Delia paid. I wasn't particularly overjoyed when she told me about the taxi either." She concured. "We both know the polite thing to do would have been, going halves on the taxi fare but you know how considerate Delia is."

"I knew _that_ skinflint had absolutely no manners."

Trixie raised her eyebrow, indulging her friend's tirade. "Is that what we are calling her now? _The skinflint?_ "

"Oh, yes." Patsy nodded, but her tone becoming more gentle as she continued. "Deels maybe humble and I adore her for that, but Trix... She deserves to be waited on. She deserves to be spoiled and it hurts me to think that she is not." The red-head sighed.

"Sweetie, you could always beat this _'skinflint'_ to it. Surprise our Deels with a romantic meal here. I could call my friend Barbara. She is a marvellous chef. She could cook whatever meal you desire. That would certainly help you woo your girl." Trixie suggested.

Patsy considered her friend's words with a frown. "No. It wouldn't feel right. Passing somebody else's cooking off as my own. Besides Deels would know. I burn toast, using the toaster." She smiled, poking fun at her own skills.

"You could prepare something then." Trixie laughed at the very idea as she continued. "Try something simple. Like pasta. Even you can boil water, Patsy. Delia would truly appreciate it."

Patsy sighed, running her hand through her hair. "I... I. No... Oh, why did I give up smoking?"

"Because of Delia." The blonde placed a caring hand upon Patsy's arm.

"I can't stand all of this Trixie," Patsy huffed, as Trixie brought her in for a hug.

"Tell her how you feel," she said, breaking the embrace.

Patsy tentatively nodded. "Once again you are right, but..."

The pair fell silent, as once again Trixie knew Patsy wasn't ready to take onboard her advice.

"Do you want to come to the gym with me? I don't like the idea of you wallowing here all by yourself," Trixie suggested, placing her nail care kit back into her wash bag.

"Thanks, but no thanks." Patsy shook her head. Exercise and the red-head did not mix.

"You can just relax in the pool," Trixie tried in vain.

"I'm okay. Honestly, you just go." Patsy smiled warmly.

Alone with her thoughts, Patsy shut herself away in her bedroom. Lying across her bed with her phone in hand, she spent the rest of her evening flipping through Delia's Twitter feed. She smiled as she glanced through photographs the Welsh nurse had taken. They ranged from scenic pictures of trees to silly photos of the pair goofing around. She stared at one particular picture Trixie had snapped on a night out. Unguarded because of the amount of alcohol she had consumed, Patsy had her arm firmly wrapped around the brunette's shoulders. While Delia was grinning toward the camera lens. Patsy had her eyes locked upon the smaller woman and the amount of love blazing through the red-head's gaze was clear to see. If only she had enough courage not to hold back, she could be brave and tell Delia, just how much she was in love with her.

With a sigh, Patsy ran her thumb over Delia's smiling face, when her phone beeped with a new message. A smile quickly appeared at the sight of Delia's name in the inbox.

 _'It's 11:30pm, Pats so that can mean only one thing. It must be your bed time. Night, night. x x x'_

Patsy bit her lip as she stared at the kisses on the message, the Welsh nurse was right. She would be soon turning in for the evening.

As she speedily replied, Patsy giggled to herself while she pressed send.

 _'You are indeed correct, Deels. Annoyingly so. Are you on your much needed break? x x x'_

With another bite of her lip, she stared at the screen until a new message arrived.

 _'Yes, with a coffee in hand. How about you? Drinking a hot chocolate? x x x'_

Snickering louder, she replied, kicking her feet out with happiness.

 _'Just a coffee, Miss Busby? I believe you have baked goods to accompany you, and hmh a hot chocolate does sound good. x x x'_

Within seconds, Delia replied.

 _'HA! You are right, Miss Mount. See for yourself. x x x P.S - Any kind of chocolate is good, especially warm. ;)'_

Smiling at the sent photograph of a custard donut with a large bite taken out of it, Patsy shook her head.

 _'I knew it! It does look tempting though. x x x'_

 _'Here, because I'm kind you can share it. Open up, Pats. *holds out donut* x x x'_

Getting up to go and make herself a hot drink, she held her side while she let out a burst of very loud laughter.

 _'Very well, *takes a bite* Yum! Want some of my hot chocolate? x x x'_

She joked, holding up her phone to take a photo of the empty mug.

 _'Urm? Patsy? There is no hot chocolate in that cup! :) x x x'_

 _'That's because the kettle is still boiling, Deels. ;) x x x'_

 _'Ah! Well, I better get back to work. Goodnight, sleep tight, Pats. x x x x'_

Blushing at the sight of an extra kiss, Patsy licked her lips.

 _'Night Deels. x x x x'_

Adding extra kisses of her own, Patsy's mood felt temporarily lifted.

Sat on her own, clutching the cup of steaming hot chocolate Patsy contemplated her next move. The girl wasn't stupid and knew things with _her_ beloved Delia couldn't continue on like this. Something had to be done. The indecisive nurse needed to be brave and go into battle against _this_ Ellen to win Delia's heart, but before any fighting could be done, she needed the courage to begin the war. And that was easier said than done.

 **A/N - Thank you all for the interesting and thought provoking reviews. Sweet Patsy is slowly starting to realise something has to be done regarding her feelings for Delia.**

 **A** ** _BIG_** **thank you as always to Steff, for her time and trouble.** ** _Thank you!_** **More soon. x**


	6. Take her to the pictures

If Only She Were Mine.

"Patsy?"

Rather stunned, the dazed red-head sprang up from her bed at the sound of Delia's emotionally torn voice. Not even sure of the time, Patsy tried to blink the sleep away from her eyes as she wrapped the crying girl up in her arms.

"Delia? What on earth is the matter?" She asked concerned, feeling the girl wrack with sobs.

"S-sorry...t-that I've woken...you." Delia tried to choke out through the stream of her tears.

"Deels, that doesn't matter," She held her tighter. "But please tell me what has upset you?"

"Mr...Mr Kane died last night." The Welsh woman let out another sob as Patsy suddenly understood the reason behind her distress.

Delia had struck up quite the friendship with the lonely old man upon the ward. He had no family to speak of. Well, none that cared enough to visit him, since he was taken ill from the retirement home. Eric had the nurses all doubled over in stitches, especially Delia. The two were non-stop with their banter. Patsy became particularly fond of Eric one evening when he called her over. It had all been done in a very conspiratorial way, and he made sure it was when Delia wasn't around. He had whispered; _'I've seen the way you look at her. Come on love, ask her out. Our Delia needs to be swept off her feet. Since this old dog is too old and of the wrong sex you'll have to do it.'_ His tone may of been one of humor but he was quite sincere.

From then on, Patsy would seek the advice of the kind man, sharing little things that Delia had done that day. Eric would often shake his head, telling her; _'life is far too short for all this folly, Patsy. Open up your mouth and ask the girl out, will you? Put her out of her bleedin' misery. She smiles a special smile only for you, my girl. Take her to the pictures. Go for a moon-lit stroll. Just tell her, Patsy how you feel.'_ Patsy would have moments of bravery, then back out of telling Delia anything at the last minute. She told herself that Eric was simply mistaken. He was only seeing things that he wanted to see.

As a few tears of her own ran down her cheek, the red-head looked down into Delia's red puffy eyes and thought about the old man's wise words. _'Should I finally be brave and tell her now?'_

Patsy found her gaze lingering upon the brunette's lips. Goodness. How she would love to lean forward and make everything better just by covering her mouth on the Welsh nurse's. She was so temptingly close and the delightful smell of her perfume added to the heady mix Patsy was experiencing.

At the sound of Delia's choked snivels, the red-head forced any thoughts of kissing her out of her mind. She couldn't confess her feelings this way. Could she?

"Delia?" Patsy exhaled a long shaky breath. Her eyes locking onto the brunette's, as the tears still rolled down her cheek.

"Hmh?"

 _This was it!_

The time for her courage to make it self known. To finally fight for Delia. The words that had been swirling around inside of her mind for god knows how long would finally find a voice.

The tall nurse could feel her mouth beginning to move and she willed herself on. "Oh, Delia." She blurted out, biting her lip. "Where to begin?"

"Pats?" Delia sniffed.

Patsy chewed on her bottom lip as she continued to stare at a confused looking Delia.

"I should or need to..." Her words were cut short by the sound of their room mate's voice as the blonde entered into the room after overhearing the commotion.

"Delia? Whatever is wrong?"

Patsy had never been so swamped with so many different emotions. She couldn't decide if it was anger or disappointment that was the strongest feeling she had at that very moment. The red-head deeply sighed, her one moment of actual bravery and she was interupted. "...Mr Kane died, Trix." She rubbed Delia's back, trying to keep her tone light.

"Oh, Delia. I am sorry to hear that," Trixie replied, running her hand along the brunette's arm. "Why don't I make us all a nice cup of tea."

Delia nodded.

"Thanks Trix." Patsy mouthed to her blonde friend, as she headed out of the door. Maybe now wasn't the right time. After all Delia was already emotional. Feeling herself beginning to back out on her lover's confession, Patsy bit her lip.

"I know I shouldn't get upset but..." The Welsh nurse whimpered.

Patsy kissed the top of her head. "Of course you're going to be upset, darling."

"I know he was getting on a bit, but he always seemed so full of life, Pats. He was never without a smile and he never complained about anything, except..."

"The potatoes-"  
"The potatoes." The two giggled in complete unison.

"See, that is how he would want you to remember him. Always smiling and up for a right old laugh." Patsy kissed the top of her head again.

"Oh, Pats," Delia sighed, pulling Patsy closer into her.

Patsy embraced her tighter in response. "I've got you."

"Pats?" Delia sniffed, looking up into her eyes. "What were you going to say? Just before Trixie came in?" She asked.

"Oh? Urm... I guess it doesn't matter right at this second." Patsy bit her lip, as the sound of Trixie's voice called through to them. The tea was ready.

Patsy was glad that she could be of some help; a shoulder to cry on for Delia. She knew the brunette must be exhausted after her long night shift, and did not like the idea of her going to bed on an empty stomach. Patsy may have no culinary skills, but even she could warm up a can of soup for her secret sweetheart.

Satisfied that Delia had been comforted, Patsy ushered her into bed, tucking the purple coloured duvet cover around the brunette.

"You really don't have to tuck me in, Pats." Delia gave a sleepy smile from her pillow.

"Oh, I believe I do," Patsy returned the smile, leaning over to plant a kiss upon her forehead. "Sleep well," she told her in a hushed whisper before she softly trod towards the door.

"Don't work too hard," a muffled voice replied, as the sound of light breathing soon followed.

Once her own breakfast had been eaten, the red-head showered and headed to work. She found that Delia was on her mind for most of the day, and all of Patsy's lunch break was spent talking to the Welsh girl over the phone, despite protests of; _'Pats, please go and finish your lunch.'_ She just wanted to make sure Delia felt better.

With another busy shift behind her, the striking nurse was glad to be home as a yawn escaped her. Patsy wanted nothing more than to get changed, grab a drink and curl up in front of the TV, preferably with Delia.

She realised her plans would have to change as the sound of an unfamiliar voice echoed throughout the flat. With a roll of her eyes, she realised Ellen must be here. Attempting to fix a smile in place, she made her way into the kitchen. Patsy knew there would be no point trying to hide. This Ellen might be taking her Delia out on various dates, but she would not give her the satisfaction of pushing her out of her own home.

She was greeted with the sight of Delia grinning at her laptop screen at the kitchen table, while Ellen was seated upon her immaculately cleaned counter top. The red-head shuddered, surfaces were for preparing food and certainly not to lounge on. Patsy needed no more convincing. _This_ Ellen girl was rude, with no thought for anybody else. She sighed again, knowing she would be spending the rest of her evening cleaning where this girl had sat.

"Oh, Pats?" Delia noticed her presence, smiling wider now.

Her bad mood crumbled somewhat at the very sight of Delia. Patsy nodded a _'hello'_ to her.

"Pats, you remember Ellen?" Delia quickly left her seat. "She dropped by to surprise me," she added, going over to the kettle and filling it with fresh water at the sink.

"Hi." Ellen smiled, with a half hearted attempt at a wave.

Patsy muttered. "Hello."

"Bet you could do with a cuppa, Pats?" Delia suddenly looked a little anxious with her movements.

Patsy smiled at her kindness. "You don't have to do that, Deels."

"I always make you a brew when you come home from work," Delia nodded firmly, as Ellen watched their exchange.

"Delia tells me you're a nurse too?" Ellen flashed the red-head a smile that faded all too quickly.

"She's the best," Delia interjected. "Aren't you, Pats?"

"This one here loves to give me a swollen head." Patsy placed a playful hand upon the Welsh girl's shoulder, making sure to give a pointed look towards the guest. "What is it that you do, Ellen? I don't believe Deels has mentioned it?"

"Me? I work over at the _'sound lounge'_ club." She replied simply.

"Oh? I don't believe we've been there, have we Deels?" Patsy smirked, in a deliberate bid to show this Ellen just how close she and Delia were.

Patsy knew she was being petty, but she really did not want to give _this_ girl a chance. It was apparent from the get-go that she was totally wrong for Delia. How could _this_ Ellen love Delia in the way she did? She couldn't. Patsy was certain of this.

"No, we haven't but Ellen reckons she can get us in the club for free if we wanted," Delia stated, handing the girls their mugs of tea. "We'll have to ask Trixie if she's up for it."

Ellen smiled. "That's your other room mate right?"

"Yes," she replied, returning to her seat.

Both girls suddenly turned their heads as the brunette let out a loud excited squeal. "Pats! Vinyl night is returning to _'Connie's'_." The nurse ushered the red-head over with her hand to take a closer look at the laptop.

"Connie's _?_ " Ellen repeated bemused.

"It's a tiny club, that plays only 50s and 60s music El." Delia explained. "Each club goer brings one 45 of their choice and it gets played."

"I can take you to that babes," Ellen suddenly offered, jumping down from the counter top. She peered at the club details.

"Oh... I... well, alright," Delia mumbled on her words, glancing toward Patsy.

Patsy knew Ellen had won this round of stupid point scoring. She should have known better than to take part in the frivolous game in the first place. Delia was not some prize to be won. She was everything to Patsy.

Deciding to leave them to it, the nurse clicked on the TV and pretended to watch whatever was on. The sound of giggling and long conversations could be heard over the volume of the widescreen set but Patsy chose to ignore them. Why should she torture herself further? With a heavy sigh, she made her way to the bathroom. Maybe a nice long hot shower might wash away all of her pent up sorrow.

Finally returning into the kitchen, Patsy saw that Delia was alone and was sporting a rather eye-catching pair of Patsy's pink rubber gloves. Arching her eye brow, Patsy watched on in amusement. She really did look quite fetching.

"Delia?" She questioned, breaking the brunette's concentration.

"Enjoy your shower?" Delia smiled, placing down the bottle of spray bleach.

"It was okay, but may I ask what it is you are doing?" She stepped closer, still wearing a wide smirk.

"I thought that would be pretty obvious," She jibed. "No, seriously. I know how you hate anybody using the work tops as a seating area." Delia smiled warmly.

Patsy bit her lip shyly. "You remember that?"

"As if I could forget. I did the same when I first moved in," she laughed, while Patsy winced.

"I'm not that bad, Am I?" She glanced down.

"No, sweetheart. Just very thorough." Delia softly patted the girl's arm. "Ellen had already jumped up on the counter before I could stop her. I knew as soon as she had done it that you would disapprove." Delia chuckled.

That was not the only thing Patsy disapproved of.

"So I made a head start on the cleaning, because I'm going to cook us some dinner." Delia continued with her cleaning.

"Will Ellen be joining us?" Patsy tried to keep her voice steady.

"Nope. She's gone home to get ready for work and Trixie messaged me. She's having dinner with the keep fit girls. So it's just us I'm afraid." Delia half shrugged, to a now beaming red-head.

"So long as I can help, but I don't know how much use it will be?" Patsy bit her lip.

"Don't be silly, you fool. With a little guidance from me you'll be a great cook," she nodded firmly, while Patsy stood there blushing under her friend's encouragement.

"How does prawn and chorizo pasta sound to you?" Delia asked, her head firmly in the fridge examining the ingredients on offer.

"Very complicated." Patsy replied with a coy smile as she had a sneaky glance at Delia's behind.

"Not really, Pats. We just need conchiglie pasta, which I know we have." She nodded. "Prawns and some chilli flakes. We can make a start by chucking the tomato puree and the caster sugar into the food processor." The brunette nodded again. Trusting her word, Patsy obediently followed her instructions.

The pair were soon sat around the table, tucking into their enticing looking dinner. The girls were happily chatting about a range of subjects from the perfect jug of Pimm's Trixie made last month, to Delia shaking her head about the gluten free cake she accidentally purchased today.

"My mam blankly refuses to even acknowledge that gluten is even a word, let alone apply it to her baking." Delia laughed.

"How is your mother?" Patsy smiled, still with the hint of laughter throughout her tone at Delia's words.

"Fine, thank you for asking Pats. She's actually daring to step foot out of Wales to come up and see me again," Delia jibed.

"Oh, that will be nice."

"You won't be saying that once she is here." Delia took a sip of her orange squash.

"Why? I rather like your mother." Patsy confessed and she really did. Admittedly, the woman could be rather set in her ways but underneath it all she cared deeply for her daughter and Patsy fully understood that.

"Aww, Pats." Delia was genuinely moved by her words, cupping her hand over the red-head's for a moment before returning to her meal.

"So... will she be staying here again because you'll be more than welcome in my bed," Patsy uttered absent mindedly, before she noticed the appearance of the Welsh girl's dimples as she giggled. "I urm... meant you can bunk up with me... share with me. Or I can take the floor." Patsy rambled completely red faced.

"You won't mind my cold feet again?" Delia cast her gaze down, seemingly over taken with shyness. Patsy could not be sure but she wondered if the younger girl was flirting with her.

"Did I make a single complaint about them the last time?" Patsy teased a little more confidently.

"No. That you didn't." Delia smiled back at her.

Patsy often found herself reminiscing about that weekend of bliss, when Delia shared her bed while Delia's mother slept soundly in her daughter's bed in the next room. At first, Patsy could barely move as she lay upon her back. Enjoying the body heat radiating from the brunette next to her it wasn't until Delia broke the tension by giggling that the red-head relaxed. She responded by shoving the Welsh girl in her shoulder, until it almost ended in a tickle fight. Patsy's laughter faded as she felt Delia's hand skim far too close to her breast. She gave her best smile and told her goodnight. What Patsy desired most was for Delia to lean in closer and kiss her. Much to her disappointment, the moment never came.

"I really don't mind that your feet are cold," Patsy said in a whisper.

"You don't?" Delia replied with a serious tone, as the sound of a beeping phone interrupted the moment.

With a slight huff, Delia pulled her phone out of her jeans pocket. "It's Ellen, sorry I better reply."

"Yes. Of course." Patsy replied with a of cluck her tongue.

"Sorry." Delia muttered, as she thumbed in a message before putting the phone back down.

"I take it I will have your full attention for the rest of the meal?" She asked her with a hint of jealousy.

"She's just saying hello," Delia explained.

"I never asked what she had to say." Patsy's tone held more bite.

"No, you didn't." Delia bowed her head, as the air between them suddenly became tense. "I'll switch it to silent," she added, trying to sound more cheerful.

"Thank you," Patsy relented. "So will we be eating that gluten free cake hmh?" They both giggled now.

"If you're sure you want to try it because I warn you now it's pretty tasteless." Delia's smile grew wider.

For the remainder of the evening, the pair sat curled close together upon the sofa. Patsy wanted nothing more than to wrap her arm around the Welsh nurse. Feeling bold, she edged her arm closer. Gingerly the tips of her fingers brushed against her shoulder. She moved her arm back at lightning speed when she heard the sound of a muffled breath. Delia had fallen asleep. Breathing a slight sigh of relief that she had not been seen, Patsy relaxed back into her seat. Turning to look at the sleeping girl, Patsy was filled with longing. She needed to make her move. Placing a soft kiss to the top of Delia's head, Patsy decided she would tell her tomorrow.

 **A/N - Thank you for the reviews! Your patience will soon be rewarded, because Patsy is ready to fight for Delia.**

 **A** ** _big_** **thank you to Steff, your help is appreciated.** ** _Thank you!_** **More soon. x**


	7. Connie's club

If Only She Were Mine.

Patsy had been awake since the early hours of the morning. Her mind was agonising over the best way to broach the subject of her feelings for Delia. Heaven knew she had played the scene time and time again in the privacy of her own daydreams. The girl didn't want to be crass and simply blurt it out over Delia's morning bowl of coco pops. The matter needed sensitivity. Throwing her duvet cover back, she thought about the words Mr. Kane had told her.

"You can do this Patsy," She told herself. "Stop all this folly and tell her."

She refused to let fear control her life for a moment longer. Pushing all of her apprehensions aside, she stood outside of Delia's bedroom door, took a deep steadying breath and proceeded to knock. "Delia?"

She was met with silence. Then knocked again, louder this time. "Deels? Wakey-wakey?"

Patsy could feel the unsteady rhythm of her heartbeat, as she pushed open the brunette's door. "Delia sorry for disturbing you..." Her words trailed off at the sight of an empty bed. Quickly making her way into the kitchen, Patsy desperately hoped that Delia hadn't already left for her morning workout session at the gym.

"Good morning," greeted Trixie brightly.

"Morning Trix," Patsy replied, slumping down into one of kitchen chairs. "Have you seen Deels this morning?"

"She was up and out first thing sweetie." The blonde continued making breakfast.

Lost once again in her own thoughts, Patsy chewed on her thumb nail. "Did she say when she would be back?"

"No." She shrugged. "There is enough warm milk for two, if you'd like some porridge sweetie?" Trixie offered.

"Yes. Thank you."

As it turned out, Patsy would not see Delia until the evening and there was little chance for a moment alone. The brunette was getting ready for a night out with Ellen. Patsy tried to put her own feelings aside as she listened to Delia excitedly talking about 'vinyl night'. Usually the striking nurse would be caught up in the fun, getting ready alongside her. It hurt her to know that Ellen would be taking her place by Delia's side tonight. The red-head always considered 'Connie's' bar as their hang out. Even Trixie never tagged along when they went there.

Needing a moment to gather her thoughts, Patsy sank into the living room arm chair. Trying to resist the urge for a cigarette, she drummed her finger nails against her coffee mug. 'Delia's happiness is what's most important,' she told herself.

Patsy played the words over and over again in her head as if she were reciting a mantra. Suddenly, all conscious thoughts left her mind as Delia appeared in the sitting room. The Welsh nurse looked breath-takingly beautiful and Patsy's mouth hung open in awe at the very sight of her. The dress clung perfectly against the curve of her hips and Patsy could not help but feel a tug of resentment that all this effort had been for Ellen and not herself.

"You look..." Patsy could not finish her thought, as Delia looked down, examining the dress self-consciously.

"It's not too much is it, Pats? I originally got this dress when I thought we were going there." Delia spoke somewhat absent mindedly, her attention solely focused upon her outfit in question. This little piece of information caused the tall nurse to suddenly grin.

"You look absolutely splendid. Beautiful." Patsy nodded her approval as a wide smile spread across the young nurse's face. "I hope Ellen is aware of how lucky she is to have you Delia."

The two women stared at each other, until Delia turned away from Patsy's earnest gaze.

With a shake of her head, Patsy exhaled. "So, what vinyl will you be taking along with you?"

"I've picked out the Everly's, 'Bird Dog'." Delia nodded. Patsy was just thankful it was not a slow ballad.

"Good choice," Patsy smiled, glancing to her wrist watch. This Ellen was running late and Patsy hated tardiness. Especially if it was being late for a date with Delia.

"Thanks. I couldn't decide at first." She giggled, and Patsy noticed the Welsh woman was nervous.

Silence descended upon the room, as the two friends glanced around, both eager for a distraction.

Delia broke the silence first. "El is running late." She smiled, perching against the arm rest of the sofa. "She should have been here for 7pm."

"The fashionably late kind hmh?" Patsy gave a tight-lipped smile, as she attempted to put the girl at ease. She would be sure to give this woman a few stern glares when she finally arrived.

"I guess so," Delia nodded.

Placing her cup down onto the coffee table, Patsy sighed. "Delia? I was wondering if tomorrow we could perhaps spend some time together. Just you and me?"

"Of course we can, sweetheart. Everything all right...?"

Delia didn't finish her question as her phone began to ring. Quickly opening up the catch on her handbag, she answered the call.

Patsy did not want to appear rude and grabbed one of Trixie's many fashion magazines and pretended to flip through it. She wondered what pitiful excuses 'the skinflint' would use to explain why she was running late. It wasn't until the pitch in Delia's voice changed that Patsy knew there was a problem. Her heart sank when she noticed Delia frowning. She certainly had a few choice words in mind to say to _this_ Ellen woman.

"...You didn't think to tell me this an hour ago?" The brunette tried to sound calm, as she began to pace the floor. "No. I understand that you've been called into work but... a little bit of courtesy would have been nice." She sighed. "Fine. Speak to you tomorrow." With a firm click, ending the call. Delia tossed her phone back into her bag with force and tried her best to muster a smile. Patsy knew the Welsh nurse was simply putting a brave face on things. It only broke the red-head's heart further.

"Everything OK?" Patsy smiled. She knew it clearly wasn't but she had to ask regardless.

"Ellen's been called into work. So, I guess I better get changed." Delia sighed dejectedly.

"No you won't," Patsy found the words leaving her mouth before her brain had chance to catch up. "I'll take you."

"What?" The smile re-appeared on the brunette's face.

This was the first time that Patsy had found enough courage to let her feelings take control, rather than shy away.

Delia sighed reluctantly. "I can't ask you to do that Pats. It's fine."

"You're not asking me. I am offering. Besides we were planning on going there together until _she_ stepped in." The tone of her voice did not go unnoticed this time. "We always go to the 60s night together. Just give me a minute and I'll change my shirt."

They arrivied to the small club by taxi, and the girls were unusually quiet on their journey. The usual banter and easy flow of conversation seemed to be absent. The air between them was tense and full of unspoken feeling. The pair uncharacteristically began squabbling about who should pay for the bar's admission fee. Patsy won out so Delia insisted that she would pay for the first round of drinks.

The dimly lit club was heaving with people and a blend of various fragrances mingled with body odour hung in the air. Making their way to the bar, Delia was delighted to learn that it was 'ladies night' and a free shot of raspberry vodka would be given with every drink purchased.

No sooner than the 'pink shot' had been placed in front of her, Delia had knocked it back. It was quickly followed by half of her bottle of beer.

"Do you regret coming here?" Patsy asked, sensing Delia's mood hadn't been the same since they had left the flat.

"No, Pats. I guess my pride is still reeling, but I'm glad that if I had to come here with anyone that it was you." Delia turned away, and Patsy was certain she saw her blushing.

After the second round of drinks, Delia pulled a reluctant Patsy onto the dance floor.

"Come on Pats," Delia encouraged. "Sway your hips."

"I'll dance with ya, darlin'." A middle aged man grinned, shaking his shoulders along to the jangling sound of the piano.

"Alright." Delia nodded, much to Patsy's surprise.

With Delia still dancing with her newly acquired partner into yet another song. Patsy made her way to the bar. The red-head couldn't get a read on Delia's mood and it was giving her cause for concern. With another sip of her beer, she noticed Delia leave the man with the tartan suit on the dance floor, and return to the bar.

"Oo." Delia smiled, taking the plastic bottle from Patsy's hands drinking the rest of its contents.

"Enjoy your dance?" Patsy asked.

"Dennis is quite the mover," Delia chuckled, perching herself on the red-head's knees as all the other bar stools were occupied. "His wife couldn't join him tonight. She picked bingo instead," Delia explained, ordering another round of drinks.

"More drinks?" Patsy questioned, feeling the blush creep across her cheeks at Delia being so close.

"Yes mam!" The Welsh girl tutted. "We're here to have a good night, aren't we?"

Later on into the evening, the girls had drank more than they usually would have done on a night out. With the heavy guitar filling the crowded dance floor and all the alcohol flowing through their blood stream, the girls grooved to the music. Patsy let her body sway without her usual reservation and smiled as she watched Delia lose herself in the song. Both girls instinctively stepped closer together and with a splutter of giggles, Delia grabbed Patsy's hand and made the taller woman spin her around. The light hearted mood quickly escalated into a rhythmic move of seduction, as the brunette pressed herself into the red-head. Patsy could feel her heart pound as Delia's backside made contact with her groin. Delia seemed at one with the beat, as her hips began to grind along with the music. Patsy could feel her face flush and she swallowed nervously at this new exciting sensation, biting down hard upon her bottom lip. The overwhelming feeling of lust was one emotion she could not control. In a bold move, the tall nurse snaked her arm around Delia's waist, bringing their forms even closer together.

Upon the fading notes of the spinning record, Delia stepped forward, stumbling out of Patsy's tight hold.

"I want another drink Pats," the drunk nurse giggled. She bibbed the end of Patsy's nose with her finger.

The action caught Patsy by surprise, and she was still dazed from the sensation of holding Delia so closely. The red-head didn't know how to respond.

"I want another drink," Delia repeated, already beginning to jump on the spot with the next tune.

Somehow ending up at the bar, Patsy let out a deep exhale as she ordered a neat shot of Johnnie Walker to steady her nerves. Not wanting to leave Delia alone by herself for too long, Patsy returned with the drinks and pulled the brunette over to a free table.

"They haven't played my song yet," Delia noted as she gulped down her free shot.

"Do you want me to go and ask?" Patsy offered.

Shaking her head, Delia touched her arm lovingly. "No. They will. How about you? How are you feeling?"

Patsy arched her brow and thought for a moment the Welsh girl was referring to the closeness of their dance, until Delia added.

"Not craving a cigarette?"

"Oh, you know me," Patsy shrugged. What she craved went a little deeper than a mere smoke.

"Well, come here." The brunette waved her closer. "Time for a pic."

The pair smiled toward Delia's phone, and Patsy could feel Delia's hand wrap around her waist as she clicked a couple of photos.

With some of her inhibitions being freed, Patsy needed to give voice to some of the questions that were rattling around inside of her head. Taking a swig of beer, for an added bit of dutch courage, she began. "So? Is it to soon to mention Ellen?"

Delia lounged back in the booth seat with a shrug. "No," giving a firm tug on the belt loop of Patsy's jeans.

"You have me rather curious, Deels."

"How so, Pats?" Delia frowned slightly.

"You've been asked out before. Why is this girl different?" Patsy asked, hoping the alcoholic shots in Delia's system had loosened her tongue enough to state her true feelings.

"I don't know." Delia placed the beer bottle against her lips again for another sip. "I suppose I thought why not?" She shrugged, letting her hand finally fall from around Patsy's waist.

"Because you found her attractive?" Patsy arched her eyebrow.

"Well, there is that."

Using her fingernail to peel off the label around the beer bottle, Patsy could no longer hold Delia's gaze. These were questions she was eager to know, but the answers might not be what she wanted to hear.

"She is sexy," Delia's tone was almost challenging. "And nobody else was asking me out were they?" She stared pointedly at her friend.

Patsy was certain that stinging barb was meant for her. It had to have been. Encouraged she opened her mouth to speak when the DJ announced the next song; _'This next one is for Delia and Patsy! 'Birddog'and the flip side, 'Devoted to you' Enjoy.'_

With a temporary break in the tension, Delia smiled reaching for the red-head's hand. "Come on, Pats."

"Delia I wasn't finished with our discussion."

"It's my song." Delia pouted, pulling the girl up from her seat.

They joined the fellow dancers upon the beer covered floor, which seemed to have become more sticky in the last half hour. Trying to push away the thought of having to wipe over her favourite pair of shoes tomorrow, Patsy begrudgingly shuffled to the music until the song ended.

"Delia? How about we call it a night?"

"Not yet Pats. I'm enjoying myself." Delia huffed, as Patsy followed her to the bar.

For the next hour, Patsy helplessly watched Delia getting slowly more drunk. Despite her suggestion that they order a bottle of water, Delia seemed determined to drink as much as she could. The red-head had seen the brunette let loose like this before, but tonight was different. There did not seem to be any fun involved. She grew more concerned as the brunette began to stagger on her feet, crashing into a near by table, with a loud _'Whoopsie daisy.'_ The older nurse steered her away, keeping a tight hold of her.

"Deels I think it's time we went home." Patsy stared into her friend's half hooded eyes.

"Chicken. I want to eat chicken Pats." Delia pulled at Patsy's arm and wasn't intending on giving up until she had her own way.

"Wouldn't you rather go home?"

Shaking her head, Delia held Patsy's hand. "I want chicken."

Patsy soon found herself stood with Delia inside a late night kebab shop.

"Hello, my good man," Delia spluttered with giggles. "Pats, what you having? My treat."

"No, I'm fine," Patsy sighed, mouthing _'sorry'_ to the man behind the counter who had seen it all before.

Delia swayed on her feet. "Oh, go on." Delia nudged her. "Hey Mister. Pats here can speak..." She trailed off trying to find her original thought. "Speak French! I speak Wales, no. Welsh." Delia laughed. "Pats eat chicken with me," she suddenly pouted.

"Fine. I'll take some of yours. Now let's sit shall we?" Patsy tried to guide her over to one of the red plastic chairs.

"I haven't ordered yet, you fool," she frowned at the red-head. "Cyw iâr adenydd ac sglodion os gwelwch yn dda."

With a bemused smile, the man turned to Patsy who didn't really have a clue either as to what Delia had just said. Given Delia's repeated requests for chicken, and knowing her well, she took a guess. "One chicken and chips meal please."

"Oh! Cariad you've learn't Welsh. Come here." Delia pulled her in for a bear hug, causing the taller nurse to blush.

"Rydych yn arogl 'n glws, cariad," Delia giggled with shyness.

"Yes, yes. Now we've ordered let's sit." Patsy pulled out the chair for the brunette to sit down.

"Talk French to me Pats." Delia swayed from side to side, with a wide impish grin plastered across her face.

"Bonjour." Patsy humored her.

"No! Tell me something, pleeeeeease," she begged.

"Very well," Patsy gave in with a roll of her eyes. She never imagined their night out together would turn out like this. With a loving smile, she did as Delia requested and spoke French. "Delia, vous avez les plus beaux yeux." She blushed as Delia nodded.

"I haven't a clue what your saying, Pats but it sounded good. Now speak Italian." Delia clapped with a hiccup.

"Non stasera," Patsy giggled, as the food was brought over.

Distracted by her food, Delia began to wave a chicken drumstick around. "Bwyta i fyny, Pats." Delia ordered as she dropped her chicken piece to the ground. Stopping the brunette from retrieving it from the floor, Patsy shook her head.

Once all the food was eaten, Patsy called for a taxi. She removed her jacket, noticing that Delia had begun to shiver. The red-head wrapped it lovingly around her shoulders, placing a protective kiss on the top of the brunette's tresses. With all of her drunken excitement turning into tiredness, Delia clung onto Patsy while they waited.

Once they were back home, Patsy put down Delia's handbag and vinyl record. Patsy helped her out of her shoes, and laughed as the Welsh woman pouted telling her that she needed the bathroom. Hovering outside of the closed door, Patsy shouted; "Wash your hands, Deels."

"I am a nurse you know," a slurred voice quickly fired back, and Patsy laughed.

Helping her into her bedroom, Delia pulled Patsy down onto the bed with her. "Stay with me, Pats."

Patsy could feel the heat rising in her cheeks, as she shuffled forward upon the bed. "You need some sleep. Now into bed with you."

"Stay with me. I don't want to fall asleep alone." Delia pouted as she wrapped her arm around the red-head's waist.

Patsy glanced down at the disheveled brunette, and knew she would end up getting her own way. She never could resist Delia's pleas. Admitting defeat, she huffed. "Fine." As she slipped off her own heels.

Intending on staying with her until she had dozed off, Patsy stared up at the ceiling. Her mind was racing with everything that had happened tonight. Feeling Delia's arm draped over her, Patsy smiled. She had played this scene many times over in her head. Delia cuddled in her arms. However, Delia being drunk wasn't a part of her fantasy. Still, she could not deny that it felt nice.

"Pats?" Delia's voice cracked with tiredness as she leaned forward.

"You just rest. You need to sleep off..."

Patsy whole world seemed to ground to a halt as she felt Delia's lips softly press up against her mouth.

"I just wanted to kiss you g-good night." The Welsh girl nodded, slumping against the pillow sound asleep.

Patsy's heart was beating rapidly inside of her chest, as she brought her hand up to her lips. Delia had kissed her. "Deels?" She softly shook her arm, but the drunk girl was out like a light.

All she could do was listen to the sound of Delia's gentle breathing, as she herself felt herself becoming drowsy.

 **A/N - Thank you for the lovely reviews. Next chapter, Delia learns the truth.**

 **Welsh - 1. "Cyw iâr adenydd ac sglodion os gwelwch yn dda." - "Chicken wings and chips please." - 2. "Rydych yn arogl 'n glws." - "You smell nice." - 3. "Bwyta i fyny." - "Eat up."**

 **French - "Vous avez les plus beaux yeux." - "You have the most beautiful eyes."**

 **Italian - "Non stasera." - "Not tonight." - As always I hope they are correct.**

 **A very, very BIG thank you to Steff, for helping me correct my silly mistakes.** ** _Thank you!_** **More soon. x**


	8. You're leaving me?

If Only She Were Mine.

 _This chapter is dedicated with love to John and all the apple scruffs everywhere._

Patsy opened her eyes with a bleary blink, and shifted a little uncomfortably at the feel of her numb arm. Gazing to the left of her, she couldn't help the wide smile that spread across her tired features. Delia was sound asleep, and the red-head relished the feeling of the sleeping girl holding onto her so tightly. To Patsy this felt like the closest thing to heaven she had ever known. The world could happily pass by outside and she would never care, as long as she could have Delia this close to her for a few moments longer. Snuggling her head closer against the brunette's, she replayed the kiss they had shared last night and hoped Delia would not regret the action in the cold light of day.

With the inevitable discussion of her feelings weighing heavy on her mind, Patsy exhaled. She knew she needed all the inner strength she could muster, if she was going to able to get through today. She silently prayed that her love for Delia would be the source for her much needed courage.

"I hope you won't be too angry with me darling?" Patsy whispered apprehensively against Delia's cheek, followed by a tender kiss which caused the sleeping girl to stir.

"Hmh?" Delia murmured, slowly opening her eyes.

Patsy could feel her heart rate beating rapidly, as Delia moved against her. With her confession looming ever closer, Patsy in a desperate bid to mask all of nervousness found herself smiling jovially.

"Good morning," She greeted.

Delia sluggishly, lifted her head from Patsy's shoulder, trying to process the night before. There was a confused expression on her face. "Pats?" She uttered hoarsely.

"Hello," Patsy replied, trying not to act as awkwardly as she felt.

"I wouldn't let you leave my room last night would I?" The small nurse groaned with embarrassment.

"No, but I didn't mind."

"Sorry. Did I behave too much like a drunken prat last night?" Delia asked, hiding a yawn into Patsy's arm.

"Hmmm? Now let me see?" Patsy pondered with sarcasm. "Not too much. Well, as far as prats go." She laughed, feeling a shove from the brunette.

"I feel like crap," Delia pouted.

Patsy smiled. "All self inflicted but I'll still take pity on you Deels."

Delia began to giggle when she stopped abruptly. A look of realisation slowly faded away her happy expression, as she stared at Patsy.

"Oh Pats?" She covered her mouth with her hand, looking suddenly ashen.

"Delia?"

"Oh?" The younger nurse shook her head. "Please believe me Patsy... I never meant to...but I was so drunk and I know that isn't an excuse," Delia began to ramble feeling utterly humiliated as she felt Patsy grab her hand.

"It's me who should be apologising darling." Patsy was surprised how steady her voice sounded as Delia frowned.

"I kissed you Pats, and I shouldn't have." Delia pulled away, appalled with her own behaviour last night.

"Delia please..." Patsy tried to recapture her hand as Delia sprang up from the bed.

"I don't know what I was thinking..."

There was no going back. All the years of pent up longing, trapped by her own anxieties. This was it. She was finally going to confess her love.

"Delia! Would you please look at me?"

The brunette lifted her gaze from the floor and locked eyes with Patsy.

The older nurse breathed in a steady breath. Spurring herself on with a nod of the head. "Where to begin?" She muttered.

"Pats? I..."

"No Deels. I need to say this," Patsy interupted. "I'm glad you kissed me. I only wish we had done it sooner, but once again you were the brave one."

"What?" Delia shook her head in astonishment.

Patsy could still feel her pulse beating rapidly as she looked at a bewildered Delia. "I have imagined this scenario so often in my head, that I should really know what to say."

The brunette stood motionless, as she tried to comprehend Patsy's words.

"Oh, I so want to be able to tell you my feelings eloquently, but it's rather difficult expressing one's self when one's mind is racing a mile a minute. I guess what I'm trying to say is... Delia I am in love with you and I have been ever since the moment I first laid eyes on you." Patsy let out a shaky breath as she waited for a reply.

With each second that passed; the fear that gripped the red-head tightened into a vice like grip.

Delia remained rooted to the spot.

Patsy could no longer tolerate the tense silence between them and leapt up from the bed, grasping lightly at the smaller nurse's shoulders. "Delia? Please say something?"

In all the years of their friendship, Patsy had never known Delia at a loss for words.

"Delia?" She asked anxiously.

Patsy could feel her own hands trembling as she held onto her friend. "Delia, I have just told you that I love you." The sound of panic was unmistakable in her tone, and a feeling of dread washed over. She had ruined everything.

"E...Ellen?" The Welsh girl finally muttered dumbfounded.

"Ellen!" Patsy snapped jealously. "That's all you're going to say to me?"

At the sound of Patsy's raised voice, Delia pulled away and headed for the bedroom door. Instantly following her, they ended up in the kitchen. Patsy watched the dazed brunette snatch the kettle from its holder and stomp over to the sink. Once the kettle was filled, all breath from Delia's body seem to leave her. As she leaned against the counter top.

"Oh, Deels," Patsy rushed to her side. She hated that she was cause of this distress. "Sit down darling and I'll make you a cup of tea."

With a weak nod, Delia sank into one of the dining chairs.

"You most likely need some paracetamol for your hangover." Patsy placed a glass of water and a strip of tablets in front of the frowning brunette. She was desperate to know what Delia was thinking and would do anything to put this right. If she had to fall on her knees and beg for forgiveness for not confessing her love sooner, she would do it in a heartbeat.

"Delia I didn't realise my words would come quite this much as a shock to you," Patsy joined her at the kitchen table, two tea cups in hand. "I thought..."

"You thought what exactly?" Delia challenged. "That I would take it all in my stride? Good old Delia can handle anything."

Patsy bit her lip, reaching out her hand to the brunette. Only for Delia to refuse the offer. "No," Patsy shook her head meekly. "I understand it must be a lot to take in."

"A lot to take in?" She shook her head. "Patsy? Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say those words to me?" Delia confessed solemnly, rubbing a hand across her forehead.

"You have?" The red-head felt a weight lift off her shoulders. Delia felt the same the way. She could feel a grin spread across her face, allowing herself a moment to bask in the revelation. Until she noted Delia's somber expression.

"Why now, Patsy? Why suddenly tell me all of this now? Was it because I drunkenly kissed you last night?"

Patsy sheepishly bowed her head. "It helped." She winced at her own words, she didn't need to look up to know that Delia was frowning.

They both fell silent.

"You never had any intention of telling me did you?"

"That isn't true..."

Delia ran a hand through her tangled hair, as she interupted. "I wish I could believe you, but I can't."

"Deels?" Patsy replied aghast. "I have wanted to tell you for so long. But... I was paralyzed by my own fears. You know what an emotional coward I can be. I've hated myself for not having the courage to tell you. Even Trixie has been urging me to..."

"Trixie?" Delia bit. "Trixie knew?" She repeated with a shake of her head.

"Deels..." Patsy's words were once again cut short.

"You know what really hurts, Pats?" A few tears rolled down her cheek as the red-head shook her head struggling to contain her own out pouring of emotions. "That you're the best and closest friend I've ever known and you couldn't confide any of it to me. After everything."

"I wanted to. Believe me, I did. I have thought of nothing else since we first met," Patsy implored.

"I don't just mean your feelings for me. You couldn't even tell me that you liked women."

"Trixie only found out through my drunkeness at boarding school. Or she'd most likely still be in the dark too." Patsy took hold of the Welsh girl's hand into her own.

"Oh, Pats." Delia's voice became softer.

"Surely you must have known that I wasn't at all interested in men?"

Delia nodded. "I figured it out. Eventually." She finally took a sip of the now cooling brew. "I'm not stupid Pats. I knew there was a spark between us... and of course I hoped we could develop our friendship, but when nothing came of it... I lost hope. I had to keep telling myself that it wasn't going to happen and to stop daydreaming. There were only so many times I could flirt with you and get nothing in return, before finally getting the hint that you weren't interested in me. But when there was no other woman on the scene I came to the conclusion that you didn't want to date anyone. Some people don't."

Patsy inhaled a deep breath. Ever since this conversation began she felt as if she were dancing on a knife's edge. Her cowardice had caused pain to both of them. She had wasted so much time and had a lot of ground to make up.

"Deels, I so wanted to tell you how I felt... feel about you." Patsy watched the brunette closely. "I was afraid."

Delia looked wounded. "Of me?"

"Of myself darling." Patsy gripped Delia's hand tightly. "You are the most important person in my life and just the thought of losing you. Of not having our friendship... Well, I just couldn't bear it."

"Pats? I... I know you find it difficult to open up but... I feel like I've been played for a fool. I thought I knew you but...you've kept things hidden from me."

"I know I've hurt you darling, but I would never intentionally do so. You know me better than anyone else. Surely you must know that?" Patsy begged.

"I thought I did." The brunette let out an exasperated sigh.

Patsy could feel Delia pull away from her grasp and tried to cling to her fingers.

"I'm a coward. You know it. I know it. And I am so very sorry. I just couldn't find the right moment."

"The right moment!?" Delia repeated, her voice high pitched in disbelief. "That is a bloody lame excuse if I've ever heard one!"

"Please believe me when I say it's true. Everytime I wanted to tell you, I couldn't..."

"Because you didn't want to," Delia snapped. "This is bloody typical of you Patsy." Delia paused, catching her breath and tried to rein in her coursing anger. "Sorry I didn't mean that."

"Delia I never thought you could love me. Not in the way I wanted you to."

"Pats, you're everything that I've ever wanted... You know I told myself I should move on from you, but... I couldn't. No matter how much I was hurting over the fact that you didn't feel the same way. I just couldn't let the idea of us go. I never once blamed you Pats. Well, at the time I didn't... I thought romance just wasn't for you."

Patsy's heart lurched. "Delia please could you find it in your heart to forgive me? Could we start again? Let me take you to dinner tonight?"

"I don't think that would be a good idea Pats." Delia got to her feet.

"Why?"

"...Listen. My head is already pounding... I need a shower and some time by myself."

"But Delia..."

"Pats please." Her tone was firm and Patsy had no choice to do as she requested.

One hour later, Patsy knocked on Delia's bedroom door with a cup of coffee. "May I come in?"

"Alright."

Patsy was shocked at the sight that greeted her and the cup she was holding almost plummeted to the floor.

"What are you doing?" Her voice was shrill, as she stepped inside the room. And hastily placed the mug of coffee on the sideboard.

"I've phoned mam and she said it will be OK if I go and stay down with her and Pa for a while." Delia finally replied, packing items of clothing into a duffel bag.

"You're leaving me?" Patsy could feel her bottom lip start to quiver.

"I need some time to get my head around things."

"You're running away?" Patsy stared at her.

"You can talk. You seem to be the expert." Delia bit back.

"I deserve that." Patsy admitted, but her words cut her to the quick. "But I feel we owe it to ourselves to talk about this. Us. Please?"

"We both need some space. Time to think things through. I think it's for the best, don't you?"

"That is the last thing I want. Delia I just want you." Patsy whimpered, tugging at the large grey backpack.

"It doesn't work like that Patsy. You can't expect me to be alright with all this?" She paused. "I can't hurt... Ellen either."

Patsy sobbed. "But she doesn't love you."

"Me going to Wales for a while is for the best Patsy."

"What about your job?" Patsy was clutching at straws; she just didn't want her to go.

"I've already called, requesting for cover." Delia replied, zipping up her bag before making her way to the door.

"You can't leave. I won't let you. You belong here with me." Patsy tried to block her path.

With the trace of a smile, Delia cupped her hand to Patsy's cheek and walked past her.

"Delia please."

"This is for the best."

"How can it be?" Patsy grabbed a gentle hold of Delia's arm. "...Least let me wait with you until your train arrives?" Patsy sniffed.

"I've already messaged Ellen. She's meeting me for a coffee before I catch my train."

"You're meeting her? Why?" Patsy knew she sounded juvenile.

"I can't just take off without telling her where I am going. I owe her that much before I head off to mam's."

"Delia please don't go."

The brunette grabbed Patsy's hand and gave it a firm squeeze, as tears of her own were falling. "Goodbye Patsy."

With that Patsy watched her leave.

 **A/N - Thanks once again for leaving reviews.  
I want to say ****_Thank you_** **to Steff for reading this through for me. More soon. x**


	9. Go and get her

If Only She Were Mine.

 _Happy birthday! Great nana Eva. I like to imagine that you are playing one of your favourite pieces, 'The Blue Danube Waltz' on your piano in heaven. x_

Patsy was numb.

It was as if she had lost all ability to function, as she stumbled her way back into Delia's bedroom. Glancing around the empty room, Patsy couldn't believe all that had transpired between them. Delia had gone and she was alone.

Her heart hammered inside her chest, and her legs began to tremble. The sense of loss seemed hauntingly familiar as a tidal wave of emotion overwhelmed her. Patsy felt helpless as she grasped at the collar of her checkered shirt in a desperately bid for air.

"Delia," she wheezed.

With a deep sigh, she moved herself onto the edge of the bed in an attempt to control her breathing. Closing her eyes, she began to count to ten. It was a simple but effective method that Delia would use to help soothe Patsy after one of her bad dreams about her mother. This time however, there weren't any loving hands holding her own or any lilting whispers of kindness. Delia had left her and she only had herself to blame.

Once she regulated her breathing, the onslaught of tears began. With a whimper, the crestfallen girl picked up one of Delia's discarded night shirts and held it close. Curling herself into a ball on the bed, she wept.

For the rest of the day, Patsy found herself wandering around the flat. Even her fail-safe efforts of cleaning were abandoned. Her mind refused to concentrate for any length of time. She felt physically drained as she sank into the sofa cushions, clutching her phone. She desperately wanted to hear Delia's voice, but she also wanted to respect Delia's wishes and give her some space. Give her some much needed time to think things through.

Wrestling with her conscience, Patsy decided it was best to call her. She at least had to know that Delia had arrived safely in Wales. Patsy chewed on her bottom lip while the dial tone sounded in her ear. When her call was finally directed to voice mail, she let out a dejected sigh. This was the very first time that Delia had ever rejected one of her calls.

At the sound of the beep she began to leave her rather strained and awkward message.

'Hello Delia. It's me... I completely understand that you may not want to speak to me right now. But... I just wanted to know that you are safe. I hope the train arrived when scheduled. I remember the long wait we had to endure the last time we went to Brighton on a whim. If I remember correctly a tree branch had fallen onto one of the lines, causing quite the disruption. Goodness, that seems like such a long time ago, and you were a natural flying that kite along the beach; how mine ended up so tangled, I'll never know...' Patsy paused, taking a deep breath before she continued.

'... Oh, I wish you would have answered my call... Then I could tell you how deeply sorry I am Delia. I would never want to hurt you... and I so want to put things right between us. Well, if you could please just let me know that you are safe, and if not perhaps I could try calling you again later. I love you.'

With another deep breath, Patsy hung up the call, and buried her face into her hands.

She had no idea how long she sat there, staring into space. Occasionally she glanced at her phone, but every call, voice mail message and e-mail she had sent to Delia had all gone unanswered. Her seeming trance was only broken by Trixie returning home. At the sound of her friend's voice, Patsy broke down into silent sobs.

"I've had the most bizarre answer phone message from Delia." Trixie hung up her coat, and made her way into the living room. "Seems she has decided to vist her parents. It is rather strange, and quite sudden. She never mentioned she was returning home and her message was rather vague. Perhaps you could shed some more light on it sweetie?" The effervescent nurse stopped in her tracks at the sight of Patsy weeping on the sofa.

"Oh sweetie. Whatever is the matter?" She hurried to her side, wrapping her arm around the crying girl. Trixie knew something must be seriously wrong because Patsy never allowed anyone to see her cry.

"I told Delia everything," she managed to choke out between sobs.

Trixie gripped her friend more tightly in response but remained silent, to give Patsy a moment to compose herself. The caring blonde watched her friend anxiously, as she stared blankly at the wall in front of her. A lost look seem to cloud Patsy's eyes, and Trixie's heart went out to her. She was about to speak again when she heard Patsy begin to mumble.

"Why do I always have to be such a coward?"

"You're not a coward, sweetie." Trixie moved her hand to grasp Patsy's with her own. "Fear is a ghastly thing, and can be very debilitating. You can't be strong all of the time Patsy."

"Strong? Hardly. I'm nothing but a coward, and because of that very fact I have single-handedly destroyed the best thing I've ever had in my life."

"I know I don't know the full story, but surely whatever damage you think you may have caused isn't irreparable."

"She was so over-joyed by my confession that I literally stole the very breath from her body." Patsy pulled her hand free and rubbed her aching temples. "You should have seen her Trix, I have never seen her so angry."

"Once she's calmed down, I'm sure..."

"I wish I could share your optimism..." Patsy interrupted and exhaled, burying her face into her hands yet again. "...But Delia will most likely end up hating me." Her voice sounded muffled.

Part of her wanted to carry on talking. To dive head first in all of the self-pity she felt. To have Trixie soothe her with understanding and words of hope. But the biggest part of herself wanted to retreat back into old habits and run. Hide away and bottle up her pain until she had time to deal with it herself.

"Patsy, Delia adores you. She could never hate you," Trixie replied. "I know it's easier said than done, but you can't lose hope."

"Hope?" She said bitterly.

"All is not lost here..."

"Oh all is very definitely lost," the red-head sighed, interrupting for the second time. "I'm exhausted." She added, running her hands through her hair.

"All right. We can talk about this more tomorrow." Trixie reluctantly agreed. The blonde knew trying to get Patsy to open up now would be like attempting to draw blood from a stone. "How about we have a bite to eat? I'm guessing you haven't eaten a crumb all day?"

"I couldn't possibly eat a thing." Patsy dismissed.

"Nonsense," Trixie tsked, as she began to scroll the take out opitions on her phone. "After all you're going to need some food inside you, to help soak up the large amounts of wine we will be consuming." She may not be able to solve her friend's problems but she wanted to help in her own small way.

"Trix, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but drowning my sorrows won't help me get Delia back." Patsy shook her head.

"Okay, but do you really think that Delia would want you to sit here wallowing?"

"No," Patsy sighed. "She also wouldn't want me getting drunk either," she reasoned, as Trixie put down her phone.

"Thank you though," the red-head smiled, as she grabbed hold of Trixie's hand. "I just need to be alone to help clear my head."

"Sweetie, time by yourself is the last thing you need." Trixie was firm as she got to her feet. "If you don't feel like junk food, then I can cook us something. Come on, you can help me," she encouraged.

With a hint of a slight smile, Patsy followed Trixie into the kitchen.

The preparations were soon under way for a simple stir-fry. Patsy sighed, as she softly thumbed Delia's thermos that had been left out on the counter. "Do you know what really hurts?" Patsy began, feeling Trixie tracking her movements, as she picked up the stainless steel flask. "Delia told me she felt the same way," she finally confessed.

"Oh Patsy." Trixie was full of empathy, as she dropped down the wooden spoon into the sizzling pan of peppers.

"This... this mess is all my fault." Patsy wiped away the tears rolling down her cheeks. "You tried to tell me, and I wouldn't listen. I was too busy being a stupid coward to notice that Delia felt the same way. Too stupid to notice my cowardice was inadvertently causing Delia pain."

Trixie sighed as she wrapped her arm tightly around her best friend's shoulder. "Delia knows how you struggle when it comes to opening up, and she isn't the kind of person to hold onto anger Patsy."

"No, but I've made such a mess of things. What if I've hurt her so much that she can't forgive me?"

"You can't think like that." Trixie gave her another squeeze before returning her attention back on dinner. "Delia just needs a little time to sort through all of her emotions. It obviously came as a shock to the poor girl, but once the dust has settled I'm sure she'll want to move forward."

Patsy hoped she was right.

Much to her own surprise, Patsy did sleep that night. Her slumber was not a peaceful one, as her mind tormented her with dreams of Delia. As she lay there, staring up at the ceiling she could feel the sting of salt from her tears, and blinked them away angrily. A small part of her felt foolish, mourning something she never truly had. Her heart hurt nevertheless. Ached for the loss, and for the hope.

With a shaky breath, she reached for her phone; Delia had still not replied.

Patsy needed to consider her next move. Should she admit defeat? Give Delia the space she had requested and back off. Or should she keep trying, take the knocks and further risk of rejection? Contemplating the easy opition, she shook her head and sent Delia another message.

The following morning, it took a huge effort to finally drag herself out of the cocoon of her quilt. Patsy could already hear Trixie up and about. With another deep sigh, she went to join her friend. The thought of having another heart to heart without at least a cup of coffee in her hand was out of the question.

"Good morning sweetie," Trixie greeted with a smile. As if reading her mind, she clicked on the kettle. "Did you manage to get some sleep?"

"I did," Patsy nodded. Her full attention turning to the dining table where only yesterday morning she and Delia sat, and for a hopeful moment Patsy thought they could have a future together.

"Would you like a coffee or would you prefer a herbal tea?" Trixie offered, bringing the red-head out of her daydreams.

"A coffee is fine, thank you," Patsy replied, chewing on her thumb nail. "Has Delia been in touch with you? Because I assume you have tried to get in contact with her as well."

"Yes. I called her," Trixie paused, making the hot drinks. "She didn't answer, but she did send me an e-mail."

"What did she say?" Patsy could hear the desperation in her own voice, and tried not to shudder at the pity radiating from Trixie's eyes as she turned to look at her.

"Just that she had arrived safely and not to worry." Trixie smiled sympathetically.

Patsy sighed, taking the steaming mug of coffee that was handed to her. "And that is all she said?"

"Pretty much. Yes."

"Did she say when she'd be back?"

At Trixie's lack of response, Patsy knew Delia wouldn't be coming home any time soon.

Patsy contemplated another day being spent without things being resolved with Delia. The very thought left her stomach feeling like it had been twisted into a tight knot. Slamming her cup down onto the dining table, she shook her head. "I can't do this. I can't just sit here while Deels is miles away, and hope for her forgiveness. I have to earn it." The red-head was resolute.

"I need to show her how much I care. How much she truly means to me. I need to get on a train and bring her home."

Trixie looked at her friend unsure, as she sipped her coffee. "Sweetie, I understand that you want things resolved, but have you considered Delia's feelings in all of this?"

"What do you mean?" Patsy snapped.

"Just that she headed to Wales for a reason," Trixie sighed. "Perhaps she needs more time to think things over."

Patsy thought for a moment. "I understand what you are saying Trix, but haven't I wasted too much time already?" She implored. "Don't you see that I can't lose her."

At the sound of Trixie's giggles, Patsy turned her head sharply to see her blonde friend smiling. "Sweetie, if that is how you truly feel. Then what are you waiting for? Go and get her."

Patsy's mind raced as she began to think over her own words. "It's still only half past six in the morning?" She chewed on her bottom lip, feeling her rush of courage begin to waver. Maybe Trixie was right. Maybe this plan was a mistake.

"And?" Trixie questioned.

Patsy could feel her pulse beating rapidly at the side of her neck, as she stared back at her friend. "What if she doesn't..."

"Patsy." The blonde scolded, "Weren't you just the one trying to convince me that this is what you needed to do? You could stand here all day deliberating, but you were right. Sometimes actions speak much louder than words. Love won't wait around forever, sweetie."

With a firm nod, the red-head knew she would have to be brave. Hiding behind excuses and fear had cost her far too much of her happiness already.

"I guess I'm going to Wales." Patsy let out a nervous giggle, as Trixie wrapped her arms around her.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Trixie smiled. "Start packing."

 **A/N - I just want to shine a bright spotlight of gratitude on Steff, and all of her help with this chapter.** ** _Thank you!_** **  
Also thank you to everyone, for all the wonderful reviews. More soon. x**


	10. The bravest thing

If Only She Were Mine.

Patsy was certain that this was the bravest thing she had ever done. That being said, it didn't stop her hands from trembling around the paper coffee cup she was holding, as she stared out of the window of the train, watching the landscapes slowly fade into vast fields of rich green.

Patience Mount was showing courage for the sake of romance of all things. The irony was not lost on her and she smiled to herself.

It did seem as if love was bringing out a different side of her today. Even her clothes had been haphazardly thrown into her black holdall, ignoring all her usual precision. Patsy could almost picture the look on Delia's face at the sight of 'Patsy Mount' wearing a creased shirt.

With the first train pulling into Swansea, Patsy chewed on her lip nervously and couldn't believe over three hours had passed by so quickly. Only another two hours to go on board the next train, and she would arrive at Pembroke station. That thought alone filled her with a strange mix of dread and excitement.

Standing around anxiously on the platform Patsy first checked her phone. There was still no reply from Delia. She let a disheartened sigh leave her lips. She did however smile at Trixie's encouraging text message of; _'You're doing the right thing.'_ Next, she checked her address book. It had been a Christmas present from Delia a few years ago, and she'd never been more glad of it than right at this moment. She ran her thumb affectionately over Delia's handwritten address of her parents' house.

Placing the tiny book back into her bag, Patsy let out a shaky breath as the next train she needed pulled in.

Where the first journey seemed to pass by in no time at all, the next one wasn't proving to be so kind. Every passing second seemed to be dominated by nothing but Delia. Thoughts hurtled through her mind relentlessly. She began to imagine the many ways Delia might react to her turning up out of the blue on her door step. Would Delia simply slam the door in her face, tell her she had made a mistake and go back home to London? That thought made her shudder. Patsy didn't want to dwell on that outcome and hoped Delia would wrap her arms around her, pull her close and kiss her. Like one of those bad romantic films, that Delia had insisted they must watch. Cliched, but no less meaningful. Patsy just hoped Delia would at least hear her out, but it was too late to worry about that now. She had reached her destination.

Once she had found a taxi, Patsy's nerves eased slightly at the sound of the Welsh lilt the friendly cabby greeted her with. When she informed the middle aged woman of the location she needed to get to, the lady frowned slightly. "I must let you know dear before we set off that the fare will be £45."

Patsy paused momentarily before continuing to buckle her seatbelt.

"You see because from here it's a forty-five mintue drive back into town." The taxi driver explained.

"That will be fine," Patsy smiled. Regardless of the cost she was determined to get to Delia.

"Well, lets get going then shall we?" The white haired lady smiled. "Couldn't anyone pick you up at the train station?" She asked conversationally, as they set off. "It would have saved you the extra cost, but I suppose I shouldn't be complaining." The woman chuckled light-heartedly.

"No," Patsy smiled. "My friend doesn't actually know that I'm coming down to see her," she admitted.

"Surprising her then? That's nice," she nodded.

"Yes. I just hope Delia will see it that way."

Not wanting to pry further, the driver moved the conversation onto other topics, from the weather to the busy roads of London. Patsy was only too glad of the distraction, as Delia's reaction to her being in Wales loomed ever closer.

"I think this is it," the driver announced, tearing Patsy from her muddled thoughts. "House number 149, you said didn't you?" The woman asked with a smile, as she pulled up outside the small but homely looking house.

"Y-yes." Patsy stammered, trying to swallow down the lump that was currently in her throat.

"Let's hope the weather keeps like this for the rest of your stay," the mature woman continued the friendly flow of conversation, sensing the nervous energy coming from her passenger in waves.

"Yes," Patsy nodded, fumbling to open the catch on her purse, with trembling fingers. "Thank you," Patsy added, as she handed the woman her fare plus a tip.

"You don't need to tip me dear."

"No, I insist," Patsy told her, as she exited the car to collect her bag.

"Thank you. I hope it works out with your friend. Bye bye." The woman gave a final wave, before driving off leaving Patsy free to draw a much needed deep breath.

Patsy could feel her stomach lurch, as she paused outside of the front gate. She needed a moment. She needed to feel the air hit her lungs to steady herself. She needed a second to take stock over what this moment actually meant. She was going to prove her worth to the woman she loved.

With another deep breath, she lifted the little metal latch on the gate, and proceeded down the path. She let a small smile take over her features, at the sight of a pretty pink windmill going round and round in the gentle breeze.

She used the brass knocker to tap on the door and anxiously twisted the strap of her holdall round her hand as she waited for a response.

 _'You can do this. You can do this.'_ Patsy spurred herself on as she heard movement on the other side of the door.

"I'll get it Mam." Patsy's breath hitched, at the sound of Delia's sweet voice so close.

As the door slowly opened, her eyes met with an astonished Delia.

"Pats?" She greeted, wrapping her fluffy dressing gown more tightly against herself, as they continued to stare at each other in silence.

This was the second time in their friendship that she had rendered Delia speechless, and Patsy wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not. The brunette looked pale, and Patsy knew Delia could never sleep easy after a disagreement.

"Hello Delia." Patsy swallowed hard, dropping her bag onto the ground.

"Pats, what are you doing here?" Delia asked astounded.

Patsy could feel her pulse pounding as she took a step forward taking a firm hold of Delia's small hands into her own. "I... I had to see you. I..." She stumbled over her own words, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks as she stared into Delia's expectant blue eyes. "I... Gosh, why I am so utterly hopeless at trying to explain my feelings...?" Patsy closed her eyes letting out a shaky puff of air. She willed her mind to comply just long enough for her to say all the things that needed to be said. At the sudden sensation of a warm thumb brushing the palm of her hand, Patsy's eyes snapped open and it was all the encouragement she needed to continue.

"Delia you are the most important person in my life, and I should have kissed you the moment we first met. I have been an utter fool. No worse, a right pillock, but I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you'll let me. If you please, please, please give me the chance to put this right... I love you Delia. I always have, and I always will."

Patsy stood there anxiously waiting for Delia to reply. Her bottom lip was claimed by her teeth as Patsy bit down on all of her tension.

"Since when do you act so spontaneously Pats?" The Welsh girl's smile quickly became a soft giggle.

"At the thought of losing you Deels." Patsy tone held no humour as she bent forward to kiss the back of Delia's knuckles softly.

Patsy let herself be pulled forward into Delia's tight embrace, and revelled in the feeling of having the Welsh girl close.

"We've still got a lot to discuss Pats."

The red-head heard whispered into her neck. She wasn't foolish enough to believe that one big sweeping gesture was enough to heal this sudden rift, but it was a start.

"Yes. Of course," Patsy simply nodded, as an inquiring voice sounded from inside the house.

"Who's at the door, Cariad?" Mrs Busby asked, as she appeared behind her daughter.

Before Delia had chance to reply, Patsy let her mouth run away with itself. "I'm sorry for turning up on your doorstep uninvited Mrs Busby but I'm absolutely in love with your daughter, and I couldn't wait a moment longer to tell her." Patsy blushed, as she stared at Mrs Busby's unreadable expression.

"You'd better come in."

 **A/N - Thank you for the lovely reviews, I really do appreciate them.** ** _Thank you_** **, Steff for your words of encouragement with this chapter! And of course your marvelous editing skills. More soon. x**


	11. Out in the open

**If Only She Were Mine.**

 _Goodness, I can't believe series 6 of CtM will begin on Sunday night! Arg! I hope there is plently of Patsy!_

Patsy could feel the weight of Mrs Busby's stare, as she remained frozen to the spot. Her words replayed inside her head. What had she done? Patsy had been so caught up with her grand romantic gesture that she hadn't considered the consequences of her hasty confession. Patsy's mind began to race. Delia's mother had certain ideas about her daughter's future, and Patsy recalled the many fraught conversations Delia had shared with her mother regarding her love life. The red-head winced at her own thoughtlessness, and sheepishly shifted her focus from Mrs Busby's firm gaze to Delia's. She only hoped that Delia knew her intentions were good.

"Mrs Busby I..." Patsy began, wanting to quickly extricate herself out of this sudden hole she'd landed herself in.

Delia interrupted her. This wasn't exactly how she envisaged things going, but at least the front door hadn't been slammed in her face. "Could you please give us a minute Mam?" Delia gave a gentle sigh as she turned to face her mother.

"Give you a minute?" Mrs Busby repeated. "What I believed to be your best friend shows up here unannounced, declares her undying love for you, and you want me to give you a minute? I think I have the right to ask Patsy here some questions, Cariad."

Patsy couldn't keep her eyes from following Mrs Busby's hands, as they moved erratically while she spoke.

"I suppose this explains why you looked close to tears yesterday?" The caring mother posed the question to her daughter.

This tidbit of information caused the red-head to wince. The very idea of Delia being in distress was bad enough, but knowing she was the cause of it made Patsy want to fall to her knees and beg forgiveness for all of her emotional wrongdoings.

"Mam... _please_. Let's not get into this now."

Mrs Busby opened her mouth to speak again, only to close it seconds later, as she searched her daughter's imploring eyes, and found herself begrudgingly relenting. "All right, but don't stay out here for too long. You're not dressed for it and we don't need the neighbours knowing all of our private business."

"Thanks mam. We'll only be a minute and you don't want the bacon to burn under the grill..."

"Breakfast?" Patsy interjected, looking between the two women in front of her. "I do apologise, if I've interrupted you all during your meal."

"There is no need for any apologies." Mrs Busby said, her tone softer than her initial bite. She looked more closely at Patsy's perturbed expression. "There is... plently to go around. If you wanted to join us?" She offered. "You must be hungry after your journey?"

"Yes. T-that would be lovely. Thank you." Patsy smiled, somewhat taken aback by the kind offer.

"Five minutes." Mrs Busby nodded, leaving them to it.

With a gentle touch placed on her mother's arm as she passed by, Delia then turned her attention to Patsy.

"I'm so sorry Delia. I didn't think, and my mouth ran away with itself." Patsy explained, as she softly grabbed her hand.

"It's OK, I know you meant no harm." Delia flashed her a smile that faded all to quickly. "It isn't like Mam doesn't know about my preferences... It's just we rarely talk about it without one of us raising our voice."

"I really am genuinely sorry for just blurting it all out like that, but it was the truth and... and I'm tired of hiding." Patsy squeezed her hand tighter. "I guess I just wanted to show you how serious I am about you, but in my haste, I didn't think."

They stood in silence for a moment, and Patsy wondered if Trixie had been right all along in her assumption that Delia did indeed need more time to consider the change in their relationship.

"Delia?-"

"Pats, I-" They uttered in unison, until Delia began to laugh.

Patsy smiled. "You first."

"I was going to say, that I would have suggested we go for a walk, away from prying ears, but as I'm in my pyjamas I think we better go inside." Delia gripped Patsy's hand firmly before she finally let it go. "After all mam would go ape if I skipped out on her fry up. Especially since she's offered you a seat at the table."

"I know. I wasn't expecting the offer or her sudden turn around."

"Mam's bark is worse than her bite. You know that Pats, and she must be slightly impressed with you coming all this way. Though getting her to actually admit that might be a challenge." Delia laughed good-naturedly.

"Are... are you impressed as you say, with me coming here?" Patsy stared nervously into Delia's blue eyes.

"I am."

Patsy tried not to feel disappointed by the unspoken _'but'_ , as she forced herself not to sigh outwardly.

"I am sorry..."

"You don't have to keep apologising Pats. You're here now, and that is all that matters." Delia touched her arm softly. "I know it must have taken a lot of courage, you coming here."

"I just couldn't stand the thought of you being angry with me Delia," Patsy told her, until the sound of Mrs Busby's voice could be heard. Ushering them inside.

"Coming mam," Delia replied, as she grabbed Patsy's holdall, slinging it over her shoulder. "We'll talk more later, but for now let's just enjoy some much needed breakfast."

"Your mother's cooking is rather divine." Patsy smiled, as she stepped over the threshold.

"Oo, you sweet talker." Delia smirked, as they made their way inside the small but homely house. "And I always thought you were a fan of my skills in the kitchen." She teased.

"I...well, of course..." The red-head spluttered, feeling her cheeks grow warm as Delia flashed her a wide grin.

"Why? Are you mocking me Miss Busby?" She added, pretending to wear a reproachful glare.

"Maybe."

Patsy proceeded to follow Delia into the kitchen, where Mrs Busby was putting down two large plates of full english breakfast. The smell was most inviting and Patsy soon found herself tucking in.

"Would you care for anymore tea girls?" Mrs Busby asked, as she joined them both around the table, pouring herself a cup from the china pot.

"No thanks mam." Delia smiled, around a fork full of fried egg.

"I'm quite alright, thank you Mrs Busby, and the breakfast is truly lovely."

"You're welcome dear."

Patsy could feel the weight of Mrs Busby's stare as the woman sipped her tea. She knew Delia's mother was waiting for an explanation. It wasn't everyday that your daughter arrived home from London clearly upset, closely followed by a _friend_ /hopeful lesbian suitor. The red-head kept her focus on her almost empty plate. She did not want to risk putting her foot in it any further than she had done already.

The sudden tension around the small table was broken by Delia's discreet burp, which was quickly followed by a burst of laughter from Patsy.

"Leave your manners back in London did you?" Mrs Busby scoffed, placing down her tea cup sharply.

"Sorry Mam, but I blame your cooking. It's just too good." Delia grinned, at her mother's repressed smile.

"Well, now that you've clearly finished eating perhaps you can start telling me what has been going on?"

Both girls turned to each other, as Delia pushed away her empty plate. "Mam do you mind if we talk about this later. There are a few things me and Pats have to sort out first."

"I see." She sighed. "I'm only your mother after all, why do I need to be informed?"

"Mam it isn't like that at all." Delia replied, running a hand through her hair.

"Well, you could at least tell me if what Patsy said was true," Mrs Busby turned to the guest at the table.

"Are you in love with my daughter?"

Patsy felt the gaze of both Busby women. This was at least a question she could answer. "Mrs Busby, what I told you is most definitely true. I am in love with Delia, and I have been from the moment we first met." She could feel the blush slowly creeping across her body, starting from the tips of her ears all the way down to her chest, as Mrs Busby continued to stare at her.

The words that were uttered next came as a shock to both women.

"In all honesty I wish I could say I was surprised, but I am not."

"Mam?" Delia questioned perplexed.

"I'm not as closed minded as you may think, Cariad. I know how fond you are of Patsy. I'm your mother, and I know my daughter." Mrs Busby picked up her tea cup, taking a sip before she continued. "It wasn't what I hoped for you... This world can be cruel and I just wanted to shelter you from it, but times have thankfully changed and I want you to be happy. If Patsy makes you happy then... then I can be happy too."

Patsy looked on rather astounded. The red-head wasn't sure what she had expected Delia's mother to say, but that hadn't been it. She felt a swell of pride in her heart, when she watched as Delia left her seat and wrapped her arms tightly around her mother's shoulders.

"Mam... I... I don't know what to say."

"That's a first. You speechless."

Delia chuckled, as she wiped a stray tear from her eye. "Seems I've been doing a lot of that lately."

"Cariad, all I ask is that you know what you're going to tell your dad when he gets home. I can handle the secrecy, I'm your mam, but you know how he likes things out in the open. You know he doesn't like to be kept in the dark, when it comes to you."

"I think dad will be over the moon. He's always got on well with Patsy." Delia smirked.

"If my staying here, poses any problems, I am happy to check into a near by hotel." Patsy offered.

"Don't be silly, Pats. Dad wouldn't hear of it." Delia reassured.

"No, you're welcome to stay here Patsy. It won't take long for Joseph to pull the camp bed out of the shed." Mrs Busby smiled, gathering the breakfast plates together.

"Thank you Mrs Busby." Patsy returned the smile.

"I think it's about time you called me Kitty, dear."

-

Once their offer of assistance to help with the tidying was rebuffed, Delia led Patsy upstairs.

"Now you finally get to see my old bedroom." Delia smiled, as she placed Patsy's holdall on the bed.

The red-head was aware that Delia's bright eyed jubilance was masking a deeper hurt. A hurt Patsy wanted to desperately put right.

"It's very you." She grinned as she looked around Delia's child hood bedroom, running the tip of her finger over a sun scorched poster. Her grin widened. "Princess Leia hmh?"

"Of course. She's the strongest Princess there is."

Patsy continued to smile, as Delia arched her eyebrow. "I'll have to take your word on that, Deels. I've never seen any of the films."

"Patience Mount in all the years of our friendship, you mean to tell me that I'm only learning this bit of information now?" The Welsh beauty placed her hands on her hips with mock outrage. "When we get home we are changing that."

Patsy found her own smile faltering. The parallel of Delia's words to their current situation was overwhelming, but what made the nurse's pulse beat faster, was her last comment. "When we get home?" She repeated hopefully. "So, you plan on returning home? I hoped, but I just didn't want to assume. I know you have work commitments, but I..." Patsy rambled, until she felt a hand squeeze her shoulder.

"I think it's time we went on that walk, don't you? Give me a minute to get changed in the bathroom, and we'll talk."

All Patsy could do was nod.

 **A/N - A** ** _BIG_** **thank you to Steff for helping me proof read this chapter and correcting the errors. - Thank you to all, for the lovely reviews. More Soon. x**


	12. Clean Slate

**If Only She Were Mine.**

The two strolled in companionable silence along the country sides many winding pathways. Patsy couldn't help but admire the scenic surroundings, but even the view couldn't help to calm her nerves. Even though it had been Delia's suggestion they go for a walk, she had yet to utter anything more than the occasional comment about the nice weather or how she had once grazed her knee as a child, running down this very hill. However much the notion of little Delia getting into mischief brought a smile to Patsy's face, she knew there were more pressing matters that needed to be discussed. Was Delia waiting for her to speak first?

Patsy gave a nervous lick of her lips, as she glanced down to Delia's hand swinging by her side. She felt the sudden overwhelming urge to take it into her own. She needed something tangible to hold on to, while she laid her heart bare. But would Delia object? Would she welcome the contact? Before she could make up her mind, the sound of Delia's voice broke her train of thought.

"Pats? I think I owe you an apology."

"An apology?" The red-head repeated, unsure if she had heard her correctly.

"Yes. For that night at the bar. For the way I behaved. For getting drunk and for..." Delia trailed off, returning her gaze to the row of wild bluebells.

Patsy sighed. "For the kiss you mean." If Delia was expressing regret over that, what else was she having second thoughts about?

"No. Well, yes..."

After a moment of silence, Patsy swallowed around the lump in her throat and turned to face the Welsh beauty. "Deels you have always been able to speak openly and freely around me. Please don't let these current circumstances effect our friendship. Regardless of what you have to tell me, I would hope that you can still trust me enough to be honest with me." Patsy gave another sigh. "I only hope, with whatever you decide that you'll still allow me to be in your life."

Delia blinked in confusion. "Pats, I think you have misunderstood my apology. I don't the regret the kiss itself. If I wouldn't have kissed you then we probably wouldn't be here now. My only regret is that I was drunk." Delia reached for Patsy's hand holding onto it tightly. "Pats? I think we're both still in a bit of shock here. I know I am, but perhaps I haven't made myself clear. I know I was angry, but I'd very much like to take our friendship further. That is, if you do too?"

Patsy let out a shaky breath of relief. Delia wanted this. Wanted her, even after everything. "More than anything in this whole entire world."

Delia's whole expression transformed, radiating warmth as she leaned closer into Patsy. "Good. That's one thing we both agree on. But I still need to apologise for ignoring your phone calls and messages. It was childish and soved nothing, but I was hurt and-"

"Deels. We have both done things that we are not proud of," Patsy exhaled, bringing them to a halt. "But I think it's time we give ourselves a clean slate as it were. No more regrets or placing blame. Lets move forward together with complete honesty."

Delia smiled. "Clean slate?"

"Clean slate."

They both gave a nod of agreement, before Delia led them to a near by bench. Silence once again fell upon them, but it wasn't uncomfortable, they both understood that they each needed a moment to gather their thoughts. Patsy was almost certain that Delia would be able to hear her heartbeat over the gentle sounds of nature's ambiance. She was thankful however that the fellow nurse had not relinquished the tight grip on her hand.

Then Delia finally spoke.

"I hardly slept a wink last night," Delia confessed, followed by a deep breath. "It felt strange being mad at you and us having words the way we did."

"I'm sorry, Delia. I'm so desperately sorry."

"I was so angry with you, Pats."

Patsy nodded, taking note of Delia's stiffened shoulders and the sudden crease in her brow. Whatever was needed to be done to make things right, she would do it.

"The train ride only gave me more time to stew in my anger. I kept replaying your words over and over again, and I couldn't shake the feeling that we'd wasted so much precious time. That we could have grabbed hold of happiness a lot sooner," Delia gave one final squeeze to Patsy's hand before she let it go. "But once I had chance to calm down and I got a big hug from my dad, I realised that it wasn't just you I was angry with. It was myself. I never once told you how I felt either."

"How could you have? When I had left things rather ambiguous," Patsy bowed her head in embarrassment. "I behaved so foolishly."

"But I made assumptions too-"

"Delia. Sorry doesn't seem enough after the way I have behaved. You know me better than anyone and you know that for most of my life I have always shut people out. An unfortunate trait I have inherited from my father. He's never been one for sentimentally. Emotions were a waste of time for a business minded man, and that statement rang true even more so after my mother died." Patsy took a deep breath. Just the mention of her mother always made her feel so lost and alone, but with Delia at her side, the grief always seemed like a lighter load upon her shoulders. She could do this, she would push through and finally open her heart completely to her girl.

"I have always felt... different. Isolated. And boarding school wasn't exactly a very nurturing place. I was very fortunate that I had Trixie to lean on when times were tough. Now, I don't want these things to sound like excuses, but I've always felt the need to be guarded. My life and certainly my love life wasn't anyone's concern; then I met you... And for the first time in my life real feelings blossomed and I felt scared, because I finally felt happy. I never thought it possible... but then fear began to creep its way inside of my mind. I couldn't lose you Delia. I... and then... " Patsy breathed deeply, struggling to covey all her emotions.

"Oh, Pats," Delia whispered softly, pulling Patsy in for a much needed hug. "I couldn't stand the thought of losing you either." Delia admitted, lacing her fingers with Patsy's once again. "It seems like we were both afraid of losing something special. You have such a big heart, Pats even if you do try to hide it underneath your brisk manner, but I could see right through you. You're a big softie."

Patsy let a soft giggle pass her lips, while the Welsh girl continued.

"And I think you're right, about this clean slate. I need to stop thinking about the past and focus on where we are now," Delia nodded almost to herself. "If I'm honest I missed not talking with you last night, before bed." Delia said with a shy smile.

"I missed you, too." Patsy smiled, rubbing her thumb softly against the brunette's knuckles. Thankful for Delia's understanding, but another important question needed to be addressed. Ellen.

"Delia can I... ask..."

"Patsy you can ask me anything, sweetheart."

"Ellen. Are you two..." Patsy faltered, her tone becoming more firm. "Over?"

Delia nodded solemnly. "Yes. We are. That was why I needed to see her before I came here."

"How did she take it?"

"Lets say she had a few choice words for me."

"What?" Patsy frowned.

"It's alright, Pats. I probably deserve them," Delia sighed. "You weren't the only one leaving me voice mail messages yesterday, and I'll put it this way, yours were much nicer."

"She may be hurt... and I do feel sorry for her, but..."

"No, Pats. She had every right to feel the way she did," Delia bowed her head. "I shouldn't have agreed to so many dates when I knew my heart belonged to someone else. She just wasn't you, Pats. No one is." Delia admitted, as Patsy grinned, closing the gap between them.

"Deels, I would very much like to kiss you now?"

"I would very much like it if you did."

Patsy's stomach fluttered with excitement. A million butterflies all fighting to be free, as she placed a sweet tender kiss upon Delia's mouth.

* * *

 **A/N - This was rather a short chapter, but I just wanted to get a feel of the story again - after so long. Only a couple more chapters left. All mistakes in this are mine. Enjoy... x**


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